November 29, 2005


vagues rely inta cultary. wahts with taht? half the time i dont evan use my hans.

if u mediate ur meals you nevar raelly get in tuoch wiht ur food. u gota merge with it baby! sure peopal in erstarants get wierd abuot it somtimes but u gota stick to you're guns. my cat sticks is face in teh bowl an noboddy cals him a freak. duoble stnadards are a nasty thigg guys.

November 25, 2005

anothar stupid poll!

gail did one like this but none of her ansars fit me. an i dont think im the only monerhcist on the net ethar. so hear it is! please answer acuretly. an no getin al hostal an seriuos in teh comants!

What is your political affiliation?
Marxist (orthodox, reformed, or off the wagon)
Labour (but opposed to all of their policies)
Social Democrat
Monarchist (limited)
Monarchist (absolute)
Free polls from


holy crap i frogot a few: jacobin, jacobite, yorkist, lancastrien, libertarian (capital l), libertarian (small l), free silver, anti-mormon, whig, sendero luminoso, nader, green, menshevik, bull moose, tammany hall, dixiecrat, free softtware foundation, workers revolutionary party, revoutionary workers party, swp, foad, gpl, lgpl, bsd, gcc, stl, msvc, respect, etc.

wel they only let me have 20 optoins so ur up a crick. if we got any of tehm pick a close aproxemation (e.g. greens prety close to junche an yorkast lacnastrion an jacobite are prety much monarchsts of one stripe oranothar aint they?) an do a writein in coments.


absalute monarchests are tyed wiht anti-frenchies for teh lead wiht five voates each! which exposas monerchy as the dafinitive falutline in my raedirship: is thare any natoin in eurpe or hte americas wiht a moare viable abselute monarchist movemant than france? i duobt it! cuorse thats not sayign much. but u gota give em credat for tryign right?

oh an i also frogot tory! an arnarchofacsist an a whole galaxy of multicolorerd islamic estremist parties. an in farenes i shulda adad 'profrench' too. an 'anti-belgian'.


an waht abuot the guelphs an ghibellines eh? whatr they choped liver? an that whoale avignon deal. i canot act efectivly in my reders intrests if i dont know which antipope they suport.

man the disgrontled laberites are walkin away wiht it.


oh yeah: woblies! lollards! levelars! knipperdollings! cavliers an ruondheads!

'are u a idiat?' 'yes! yes! a thuosend times YES!!1!'

pares hlitlon wrom infects milians.

To become infected, recipients must click on the attachment, which is zipped, then unpack the zipped file, and then agree to run the executable file that appears. That provides several chances for a consumer to realize something is suspicious.

jesas christ its a honor system virus! an it actuly works. for al intents an pruposas its givign the'se trogladyts a series of prompts logicly equavelent to the folowign:

are u a uttar moron?

duhhhh... paras hilten... paris hitlen... uhh. yesyesyes!

no rely are u a compleate godamn droullin idiet? a genuine certafied flatliner? unable to feed yourslef? would u like to play rusian rulette with a autamatic?

oh god yes!

are u ABSALUTLY CERTIAN u want to infect ur computar wiht a viras?


thease morons daserve what they get.

November 20, 2005


whan likns opan in a new winda is taht anoying?
Free polls from

p.s. look! louk! a vc ferenzy! no but serously. i thikn teh sofware indastry is gona be fun to wach for a while. or to be in. hehhehheh.

sentances i didn finesh redign

epasode 1:

An acclaimed debut prompts one of two kinds of follow-ups: either the band strives to broaden their palate...

gongngng!!!1! next!

p.s. teh rekkid is uter crap.

November 17, 2005

flithy gream brutes

turtal lives 175 yers only to be tormantad by antipodal maniacs howalign offpitch at er:

Very old green thing wonders if it has any messages.

tham trutles think their rely smart lvign so logn but whose got teh aposable thubms eh? eh? evary time i se a turatle i go rght up to im an wigal my thubs uin is face just to let im know teh score. i tel im 'mabe in 100 yers ill be dead but youll be still tryina figur out how ta answar teh phone u losar! hahahahaaa!'

fromm norum.

November 15, 2005

teh truth about aliumiunioum floil hlemets

heres one for gial! form the abstracat:

Statistical evidence suggests the use of [aluminum foil] helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

note one of teh authars is from the mit media lab. so their doin more usefal wrok thare than alota teh nonmedialab m.i.t. guys i talki to like to claim.

form teh nameles guy.

November 13, 2005

spam du juor!

just gota comant spmam taht says teh inevatable linkd website "pretty much covers ##KEYWORD## related stuff."

yeh ill bet it does.

November 11, 2005

kiler fact!

teh wrod 'crapulent' has nohtign to do wiht crap.

ORIGIN Latin crapulentus, from crapula ‘drunkenness’.

i know somea u swine know taht aready so i dont wana hear it. if im teh only one who didant know it i dont wana hear taht ether.

oh right

not aruond much. bean real busy. bleh. mabe reders might wana share their experances with abductoin in coments? dosnt mater which side of hte isue ur on — all views are welcame! if u disagre do it tacfuly. ferexapmle dont sjust say 'fukc u a-hole ur a giberin witles moron an your ten tims worse then hitlar!' instead say 'fuck u ahole ur a gibbarin witlas mroan an u r as bad as hittler.' see if u dont exagarate ow much more cival it is?

November 09, 2005

kiler fcat!

comedianne caral brunet first fuond fame in teh 50s wiht a 'sily love sogn to teh secratery of state' caled "I Made a Fool of Myself Over John Foster Dulles".

wel yeh. taht kidna thign hapans alot.

November 06, 2005

"A public service to future aspiring zombies"

erack lipert has excelent avice for zombmies!

It is incredibly creepy to have someone smell you, particularly if they then act hungry.'ve got to lurch towards her, groaning, and hand her the cell phone like a zombie would.

rede teh whoale tihgng!

my apalcatoin

dare cia,

teh reson im am want to be a spy is i am smothve wiht teh laydees an i look rel good in a tuxeada. i have also and sneik up erl good on poeople an whack em.

i wuld be a aset to ur team cuase i am incospicuous. il wrok logn hours an i can distiguesh a rifal form a doarnob whan i hear it. an i alredy have a disgiuse with a fake mustacehe!!

thank u rfor ur cosidaretion i hope to hear form u. my resame is atcached. which it detals my porfesoinel experoance. like for exaple i keep a prety good eye on teh ol lady nex doare. she tjotly creps me out.


arelgnten copeley hyns

November 01, 2005

Janesville, Iowa

This is Part Four. The story began here.

At the end of the evening, the tired little carnival wound to a halt and the lights flickered out one by one. A few lingering yokels left wandering tracks in the dew down the midway, while the carnies let their public faces go and closed up their attractions for the night. A drunk straggler loudly wanted one last look at the Topless Lady.

"She's no lady, son, she's my wife. Now get on home. We're closed for the night."

"Buhh... wlalalwala... mhpgr... sheza boo... a baa... jeez shesh perty..."

"Come back tomorra night, we'll be right here. Now you go get some sleep, you hear?"

The drunk turned and stumbled off.

"Nrphnblbl... rrmb..."

In another tent, a young man set his top-hat on a trunk, stripped off a cheap false mustache, and sat down heavily in a folding chair. He rested his face in his hands and sighed. In a steel cage, two silent crouching clowns watched him with glittering, unblinking eyes. The younger clown swallowed anxiously and licked its chops with a long, pink tongue, showing gleaming white eyeteeth an inch long. The elder, grizzled and with the ugly scar of a long-ago clown bite on his neck, simply watched.

The young man sighed again.

"Time to feed you guys."

He dug two haunches of dripping meat from a cooler and gently handed them through the bars. The clowns seized the meat and devoured it frantically, snarling and snorting to themseves as they ate.

They finished the meat and politely handed back the bones. The young man whispered to the older clown.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to become like this. And about Mom, and... everything."

The old clown's face worked strangely. Sweat broke out on its forehead as it tried to reply. It uttered a strangled barking and a low moan, then finally a sound recognizable as speech. Its voice was distorted, inhumanly deep, the vowels painfully prolonged, but it was speech. The younger clown looked on uncomprehendingly.

"Iiittsss... ooookaaayyy... Juunniioorrr..."

Tears wet the young man's cheeks.

"I love you, Dad."

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