February 18, 2005

hstory striaks again

so lucreztia borgia was etin diner whit some ambasader from wharever an she piosoned his sioup. so aftar about three sposnsful he keels ovar stone dead whit his face in his bowl. spalash! death ratle! scratch one abasseder.

an ms. borgia puts her hand delicaitely to her mouf an says 'golly. thats one fell soup!'

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Poison still happens. Not too long ago the Commies killed a bloke called Georgi Markov by firing a tiny pellet coated with ricin into his leg. The pellet was fired from an umbrella. London has lots of umbrellas, but I am not too scared. The gravest danger is of some hurrying fool putting my eye out. Since 1066 that's another English tradition.
In Italy it is bad manners to pour wine backhanded, apparently because of Cesare Borgia's poisoning gimmick with his ring.
I hear tell Lucrezia spilled a drop or two on the bread-basket next to the soup bowl, whereupon the bread began coughing and spluttering all over the table. Eventually foamed blood at the crust and collapsed on the table. Lucrezia's verdict: "That was not well bread."
One of the proposed ingredients of the Borgia poison La Cantarella was phosphorus. US army just steals and cheats to get ideas- plagiarists.
Was Cesare some sort of contortionist?

I hate dinner parties. Why not kill off the pompous bores, at least it means you won't get an invitation back.
bystader i thot u guys band ubralas? er did u jsut ban huntign foxes with em? i red in teh telygrahp taht fi u have a umbrelea stand next to ur door its prima facist evadance taht ur lyin in wait for a bugler an they can lokc u up for it.

philap i herd teh same story!

hary cool! ill remeber that next time i ned to subtly intimadate a mafioso.

muad yuda got alogn good whit gian gastone de' medici.
'she was muton dresd as lam' ovid siad sheepishly.
"She was a horny kid," bleated Juvenal.
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