mom, yesterday

wel my moms in teh hospatal an i caaled her up tonighght an we hada nice chat abuot anzio. than teh ol lady in teh nex bed chimes in. turns out shes gota bug up er ass abuot mark clark.

wtf? poeople get funy iedas whan their old.

good thign they made mom her leve her guns hoame.

ok so tihs wekend i fiared up teh hispano-suiza an wen't out an gota sliderule! their handy cuause if sobmodody walks up 2 u an asks waht the natural logaritham of a hundrad an twleve is u can stick im in teh eye iwth it an excscape wile hes disoritnated.

i liek my hadliane betar.

The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.

top of waht u may wel ask. but they dont say.

uuopdate!

wel for all i know mabye they do0 say! i didn read it. im a blogar ffs not a damn resaerch asistant.

Labels: science, Teletubbies

In the future, everyone who is not Elton John will be Jonathan Winters.

Morrissey	Jonathan Winters

It rules that people who were immensely cool and famous when I was sixteen, have gotten fat and old before me, and that Morrissey, that swine, will continue to be nine years older than I am until they cart his vast, hideous, gelatinous remains off in a piano box.

sniek up an slip id down teh back of is neck or levae it on his chaire — its up to u!

saw tihs tody at teh wild oafs markat in portlland todday. thats waht i like about maine! peoople are thuoghtful.

Labels: haddock, token of esteem, wild oafs

Yeah, I never thought that was possible either.

Labels: idiots

...and a Cypriot with a third ear. Beat that.

Labels: ears

Exciting new developments in Very Large Rubber Band Technology loom on the horizon. By tomorrow it will be banned, or taxed.

Labels: aerospace, coyotes, science

haf u sean tihs yet? funy fuuny!1

uopdape!

hmmmmm... hlemhloz strikes agian! but can u dance to it?

Labels: the imponderable mysteries of the human heart