February 21, 2005

teh clowan of gluocester

i was four yers ol. thare was a headlin in teh botson golb one satidy: teh greate mechanical clowen of gloster! fifty feat tal! fun for teh whoal famely! they're was evan a picher. i wuldn shut up abot it so they took me to see.

thousens of peple were their milin aroun on teh grass. they had freid dough an coton candy an flags an penants an whatall. bands playin an litl kids pukin for joy. we wated in line for an hour an finly we got to see the clown close up. it moved slowly an bent at the waist. it lenad down an kids fed id icecream coans an candy aples. itd take the food in its hand bow poliately an eat.

it made no sound an we we're all in to much awe i thikn to make a sound oursalvces. u culd hear the wind an the ocean.

atlast it was my turn. i was tremblin i was so exited. i hald up my cotten candny to feed it. it rechaed down deliacately whith both hadns an picked up my mom whith teh left an my dad with the riaght. an smiled kindly at me as it ate em.

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Disturbing! Reminds me of this story about a mom who encouraged little Jimmy to hand-feed a bear at Yellowstone or somewhere. The bear bit his hand off, though, instead of eating the mom.
 
Is there a part II to this story?
 
That's a terrible story.
 
Clowns, why do they hate us?
 
No one likes clowns. Ha ha ha doesnt like them, Johnny Depp doesnt like them, I dont like them, no one I know likes them. Why do we still admit them into our lives? it reminds me of the bit in the introduction to einsteins monsters by martin amis where he talks about nuclear weapons being like 70-foot tall bodyguards around a childrens tea party and to make them go away all theyd have to do is turn around and ask but theyre too scared. Only clowns instead of nuclear weapons.
 
Ha Ha Ha did NOT say he disliked clowns, merely that they ate his parents.

For all we know part deux will be called 'Dr. Ha: How I learned to stop worrying and love the clowns'
 
Morris Men are also terrifying. Special forces clowns.
 
good point, jtp. i will try not to make wild assumptions in future.
 
1. Why are clowns evil? There must be a PhD thesis or two on this somewhere. Cultural studies or cultural anthropology, probably.

2. Mr HA, it's contagious. I'm starting to type like you. I've had to backspace so many times to type this comment "correctly".
 
jtp an askamo i dont hate cloweans. i acept em as a naturel part of life like old age or whatevar.

has anyboddy tri3ed jsut askin martan amis to go awey?

muad ohmigodholycrap. ur rite. those ppl are not noramal.

piere i feel ur pian. im staratin to type liek me to!
 
This is an alarming development.
http://www.clownarmy.org/recruit/recruit.html
 
muad tahts arlarmin indeed. buncha whiet guys in dreadloacks i bet.
 
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