February 22, 2005

yeah i got ur 'pichers of bat.' ritaght herare kid!

serchin yaho fro 'pichers of bat' eh? u wnat pichaerd of batt? iuszat it?

oh ill give u pichars of baat til u howol for nmerrcy u li8tal vrerm6ign! u fkugher agerafrtin bugnhlooe arrashshoo! AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!


krrghgh rgnnngnhgh arrrarararara fugmrg mrgrfrgr aaaaaaaaaaaaarr!!1!

another updat!

reder mod infroms abot house bat manegmant an otrey hatrye ofers insignts into life as a bat. i got som rely wierrd reders. wa hoo! i win!

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maybe it was the same guy who once wrote a WHOLE ESSAY entitled, "what is it like to be a bat?"


all i can say is, that's not my idea of philosophy.
jeez. i alredy knwo what its like to be a bat. its borign. he culda just asked.
'Bites usually are defensive, occurring when people handle sick or moribund bats.'
House Bat Management
to me, the worst thing about being a bat would be having to pick up my glasses off the carpet all the time. that would get really boring. but i suppose once i got used to having wings instead of fingers, i could secure my glasses to my head with a tight rubber band.

plus if i ever "felt a bit frisky", only other bats would ever let me "get to first base", as you americans say. that would "kind of suck".

it would be nice never having to see daylight, though.
from my experience of interspecies dating, audrey hawtrey, they wouldn't even let you get to first base.
As for being a bat: spending all night chasing flaccid mosquitoes to fight hunger and having to communicate with incessant bloody squeaking: no wonder they're sick and moribund. Maybe it's a foretaste of HA HA HA's helium-smothered world.
Eskimo: tell us more!
eskimo, if i can wrap a worm around my little finger (and i can), then i can certainly angle me any old bat that takes my fancy.

another bad thing about being a bat would be having the toilet bowl affixed to your bathroom ceiling. you would spend half your life just mopping up, unless you installed some kind of hydraulic suction device, which would be pretty expensive.

but it would be nice to be able to say "i need a guano" and not have people give me such funny looks all the time.
uhhhh.... so there was this, like, really hot bat... it may even have been a fruit bat. we went to see Batman together; towards the end of the film, the bat did that thing where they yawn and put their wings in the air and then drape one over your shoulders, as if casually, but actually to get a feel of your tits. i came over all giggly. anyway, a few days later he decided he wasn't emotionally stable enough for a relationship and we broke up. i hear he got married recently. don't they all, girls? that's bats for you.
"Rushdie threatens journalist with bat"

odray whoa cool! but teh stoary dosnt say if its a vampiare bat er a froot bat er what. we have sunkan inta teh darkj nihgt of jornelism.
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