August 01, 2005
just raserved a rentel car. 87 difern cars listad. exacly zero of em had a manial tramission.
an they onyl had one convertabel an it was a sucky car thatd probly handle like a sacka crap. an evan if u wantad taht one u culdn get any garantee taht itd be red. wtf?!
mark my wrods. no nation so constatutad can logn endure.
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im peved about the coveretbel. i anticepate scenery an thease asshats expec me to languish undar a roof! what a bumar. mabe i shuld cuogh up the estra hundred bucks an get the shity convertible. aarrgghh.
 ok troasers. miserble foraners.
If oil prices keep rising, though, I suspect everyone except Donald Trump will be using public transport this time next year. Can one live the American Dream on a double-decker bus? Even with a six-month TravelPass? Sometimes I wonder.
A Mustang’s wasted on you Americans. Anyway you can only do 56mph before you piss your pants so what are you worried about handling for? Who do you think you are? Burt Reynolds?
When you bring the car back, just claim that someone pinched the roof.
dr m - ill give taht 2/3 thign a try. but il have u know ive many times goane as fast as 57 mph or evan 58! ur right about teh new variant of cjd thuogh. them japenese can imparove anytihng!
anon - yeah its true amaracan cras are mosly searingly ugly an weve nevar refined our oil-leakage technalegy up to bertish standrads but what can u do?
dr e - not a bad notian! but take it form me u shuld probly get teh car outa the rentel lot before u start with the saw. theive got some very exitable people workign at avis if u wana know the truth.
jef - i dinna ken ur rantin laddie! whats a byre gota do wiht it?
Ez thay sey, Lett teh byre be wear, cavy ott empty. Och, laddy, Dew u ken jon peal? Barby didd.
Jeff, respondeat superior
Handling isn't everything, of course. One must also consider the penis extension angle. I am informed that the best bet for this purpose is half a ton of bullshit in a quarter-ton bag.
Americans are so superficial.
odrey - by 'sack a crap' i maent just that. a sakc with crap init. as in liek stinky an mushy.
but anyhow i love teh 'bigger, faster, noisier and more vulgarly spectacular-looking vehicle' bit. dude! TOTLY! (tho it may be moare a x cromasome thign then culteral). an ur worng about hte 'superficel' bit. itd be suparfical if all i cared abuot was the 'vulgarly spectacular-looking' part. but i love em for ther fastar an noisiar souls too (an so do the stralets trus me!). ahh...! the dear litl machines! the cars i mean not the starlats.
I should hope so, too. For far too long we have allowed the meaning of "sack of crap" to be vulgarised by used-car salesmen and other buttock fetishists. It is about time this unhealthy trend was stamped out and the jackbooted octopus thrown into the melting pot for good and all. Let us revive the tongue that Shakespeare spoke. Would Jonson, Marlowe, Kyd, Webster or any of those other great non-Americans ever have used "sack of crap" to mean anything other than a sack with crap in it? Would Webster? The other Webster, I mean. The one with the dictionary, not to be confused with Johnson, not to be confused with Jonson. Anyway, it's a disgrace.
but ur right man. the runign dogs of teh capetalest sheap have bean showan for teh pigs they are! er vice versa.