July 28, 2006

cotionery tale

at teh orpenage they awlays tol me not to have nametags on my undarwear bacause then starangers would read my name an pritend to know me and id get into their cars. i never blived em until it hapant. actuly some time aftar it hapand.

truth is i never even rilized anything was wororng until i saw myself on a milk cartan. jesas! ive been here sintce 1996! who knew?

so let taht be a leson to us all. but mosly me i supose. my coleague alfiner got her dog egon a shirt with his name onit an i was gona warn er but now i gues i wont be pointign any fingars.

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Perhaps you should try wearing your underwear under your trousers for a change. It's not as if you're a real superhero, after all. Getting kidnapped is not what I'd call a superpower. What, were you bitten by a radioactive Lindbergh baby or something?
It's nice of you to be concerned about Egon, but don't worry. Even if a stranger calls to him, it won't matter, because the poor brute is too dumb to recognize his own name.
Good thing you didn't get him a shirt with "BALL?" on it. That would surely spell the end of the "poor brute."
iven - unnder?! waht kinda freak are u?

vague - yeah well thats what they siad about me.

chris - ok so he likes balls. wahts it to you? hes a dog for godsake.
You saw yourself on a milk carton?

I know this might not seem very politically correct in these chaotic and lawless times, but I really don't think it's fair to blame grocery-oriented lacteo-narcissistic hallucinations on name-tags or getting into cars.
I have my name printed on EVERYTHING. That way when some wiseass says "Well I don't see your name--Oh. Sorry." Also I can be identified in case my enemies finally do catch up to me.
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