July 24, 2006

daamn cops!

whan i was a chlid they wuldn let us havea car so i nevar did learan to driave until i was oldar. that was in teh dark days when i had nowhe're to stay. i slep in a ol windmlil for awhile but they came to bruned it down one night so i hada hightail it out a there bafore they got me suroundad.

an so i arived in the city with nothign but my dreams an a 38.

now cause theyd never let us out much at the orpphanege i hada learn abuot life form waching tvs in the stoare windas. whcih was a improvmant form out in the boonys where the're was nobodddy to watch but the sheparts. which it turns out they were the worng guys to learn from an that in fact led to the prefecly inacent incident what brought about the end of my time at the windmil. but that epasode with the sheep is anothar whole story.

but so once i finly had gainfal imploymant i saved my penies an i bouughta car. it was a red one! whooohooo! an i druv it evrywhere. but the cops got all on my case abuot how i was dirivng it an i was like "yeah whatever. dont bug me man." but they finly through me in jail so i figurd maybe i should give em a sympathetic ear for their ravigns. well it trusns out this is the deal am ill share it with you so you dont run inta the same hassles i did.

it was the maneqin. your not supoased to use one.

ok you know how on tv theyll be like in the car an the one guy gets shot an than the othar one like lenans ovar an steers an the guy whose shot slumps with his foot on the gas? yeah well i saw that an i was totaly all like yeah! thats for me! so i gota manaqian to fil in forthe dead guy an wen't on my mery way squeealin anround the othar cars on the sidwalk an whatnot.

but no moare.

how bleak life has proven to be.

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A bleak tale of true bleakness.
No mannequins? Really? Uh-oh. Back in a minute - just popping out to the garage.


Bollocks. How am I supposed to use the car-pool lane now?
Heh. You said "sheparts." Heh heh.
If you try to steer from the driver's seat you probably get lower back pains from that weird "sitting upright" posture you have to adopt.

You could sue.
Arlington, I now know who you are. You are Tom Waits. Can I have your autograph? Thanks.

If they don't allow mannequins or corpses, perhaps you might get away with this, especially if you have it in you to resemble a damsel in distress.
Heh. "i saved my penies." Heh heh.
You could always move to England and let the mannequin drive.
Or move to Belgium and let the Mannekin Pis.
...or to France and let the mannikin drive pis
'pis'? u guys tlakliking somkinda forg crap? talk american!
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