some eval swine (see titlebar on linked page) beat me to "lorem ipsum dolemite".

damn you porfesor mysteroius! you mayve dafeted me this time but ill be back!

at teh orpenage they awlays tol me not to have nametags on my undarwear bacause then starangers would read my name an pritend to know me and id get into their cars. i never blived em until it hapant. actuly some time aftar it hapand.

truth is i never even rilized anything was wororng until i saw myself on a milk cartan. jesas! ive been here sintce 1996! who knew?

so let taht be a leson to us all. but mosly me i supose. my coleague alfiner got her dog egon a shirt with his name onit an i was gona warn er but now i gues i wont be pointign any fingars.

whan i was a chlid they wuldn let us havea car so i nevar did learan to driave until i was oldar. that was in teh dark days when i had nowhe're to stay. i slep in a ol windmlil for awhile but they came to bruned it down one night so i hada hightail it out a there bafore they got me suroundad.

an so i arived in the city with nothign but my dreams an a 38.

now cause theyd never let us out much at the orpphanege i hada learn abuot life form waching tvs in the stoare windas. whcih was a improvmant form out in the boonys where the're was nobodddy to watch but the sheparts. which it turns out they were the worng guys to learn from an that in fact led to the prefecly inacent incident what brought about the end of my time at the windmil. but that epasode with the sheep is anothar whole story.

but so once i finly had gainfal imploymant i saved my penies an i bouughta car. it was a red one! whooohooo! an i druv it evrywhere. but the cops got all on my case abuot how i was dirivng it an i was like "yeah whatever. dont bug me man." but they finly through me in jail so i figurd maybe i should give em a sympathetic ear for their ravigns. well it trusns out this is the deal am ill share it with you so you dont run inta the same hassles i did.

it was the maneqin. your not supoased to use one.

ok you know how on tv theyll be like in the car an the one guy gets shot an than the othar one like lenans ovar an steers an the guy whose shot slumps with his foot on the gas? yeah well i saw that an i was totaly all like yeah! thats for me! so i gota manaqian to fil in forthe dead guy an wen't on my mery way squeealin anround the othar cars on the sidwalk an whatnot.

but no moare.

how bleak life has proven to be.

thers a kinda gutiar ampalfier called a rectoverb. i gues u can imagene what it might sound like. sort of reberbaratingg... recto... uhh... on second thoughtht lets not go the're.

cuould i make that up? nope.

ok ok its just 'recto' as in rectifiers. dosn matar rely. its just headbangar gear anyhow. (in fareness to teh vendor they don't just do hedbagner stuff. ive gota oldar one an its quite nice.)

all tlak an no inaction.

uuppdate?!

fotoeater says

I can picture Arlington as a Buddhist, sitting shaven-headed and chanting mmmmo.

Dear, dearest readers — if any of you remain — Arlington is very sorry that he has so neglected you recently. His attention was occupied by a terminally ill cat and he "didn't feel very funny", but that's over now and I expect that he will return shortly. We apologize for the inconvenience.