August 03, 2006

a pllea

dear redars! ok i opand my mail wich i usuly dont do bcause quite fanrkly teh ladies are prety much in awe of me already but anyhow i gota emial form my brothar!

I just Gogoled marthambles [he tlaks funy liek that — ed] and your blog came up like 5th. You epicene freak. What is your fucking problem? The next time you see me coming you'd better run, as the poet sang, and that's all I've got to say about it, motherfucker. "Marthambles", my ass...

so ive gota raquest to meake! i dont wana be fith. i wannna be first dammit!

so anyboddy up for gloogal bobmign me? just paiste the folawign crap inta evary post on ur bolg! in evary comant! put it in ur sidebar and your tital thigny!

<a href="">marthambles</a>

youl get ur raward in heaven i promise you. an youll have the geretar rweweard of beign part of someghing biger then yourself. somethign menignful. something that tarancends our pety difrances an binds us togathar in oru comon humanity. also its pointles an realy stupid!


i thuoght 'epacene' was a bit harsh.

anotharh updte!

our raedar oaudreay hotrey is hasling me about the falulasly rapulsive moregellons disease. actuly its to horable to lauvhg at. im gtrygna cut down on the elimanointist retoric.

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But why was he googling it, eh? I think we know who the real sickie is here...

Can't help but note that marthambles is not amusingly misspelled. Don't go all conventional on us, now, 3H. Did you not trust us to recognize the word? Surely you know by now that all your regulars are depressingly well acquainted with obscure diseases.
Firstly, I think it's disturbing and sick that you go to so much effort to associate yourself to a horrendous disease like marthambles. I hope an angry God and his trusty sidekick Karma see to it that you're stricken by this debilitating affliction out of spite.

Meanwhile, update your post to include the blog link not on "your blog came up" but on the word marthambles itself. May as well lead the way by demonstrating proper link techniques on your own disheveled desk.

Secondly, I agree with ITT on who the real nutjob is. Some siblings inherit it all wacko DNA, which must account for Triple-H's lack thereof.

Thirdly, ITT is completely off their rocker about the spelling of marthambles, which is both correct and incorrect at the sametime, thus demonstrating our four corner stage life as irrefutable proof of the omnific, infinite, ineffable cubic nature of God, you singularity dumbass.
Ask not what your Bogol can do for you, but what you can do for your Bogol. Aux marthambles, citoyens! Formez vos bataillons!

A hapax legomenon so far, marthambles should be elevated to greater semantic status, by using it to refer to the irksome perambulations of Martha Stewart. Her aimless ambulatory meanderings, inflicted upon an unsuspecting public, will inevitably end up posing a threat to the general public. In the Dept of Domestic Freedomisation's color-coded terror alert chart, orange/high should be replaced with "lavender: marthambles"--high risk of Martha ambling by. The fellows at DHS need to get their priorities right.
Needless to say, if the terrifying disease of marthambles is to have any cure, G. Gordon Liddy, that mountebank of our times, has just the cure for it. GGL's "Natures's Youth" is reputed to heal not only the painful marthambles, but also the deleterious Strong Fires and the nagging Moon Pall. Hurry while supplies last!
Never mind marthambles; what about morgellons? ("Even dermatologists are afraid to see these people."):
Momma, we'uns having a quiltin' bee tonight...can y'all pick us up some marthambles?
Firstly, I think it's wonderful and compassionate that you go to so much effort to associate yourself to a horrendous disease like marthambles. If only more bloggers would speak out for the marthambled.

Secondly, I ambiently depreciate the imprecation that I, or anyone associated of by myself, has this disgusting (and anyway probidly apothetical) condition.

Marthambles, bah. Give me a graham cracker and a piece of chocolate and I'll turn it into a smores.
What for you gotta rub that epicene thing in my nose for? I'm just big boned!
All right -- I signed up for the greater reward in heaven, higher purpose etc., etc., by adding it to my blog, but nothing says love like good, hard, cold cash.
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