Just got back from the laundromat. On the television there — a "television" is a glass-fronted box stuffed with more imbeciles than a sane man would imagine possible — the "news" was on. Some gibbering, hyperactive, toothy, chirrupy psychopath of a woman bleated "how many fingers, Winston?" and then yammered the following:

A new law may pave the way for area restaurants to serve delicious meals like this [cut to photo of a glistening multilobate horror on a plate, candied tumors in badger's lymph perhaps], trans-fat free!

No. Wrong. No, this cretinous law will make no food feasible that was not feasible before. That is beyond the power of the state entirely. It will instead "pave the way" for area restaurateurs to be fined for serving perfectly normal food that their customers, mentally competent adults more often (slightly more often) than not, choose to pay good money for, of their own free will. The mentally incompetent adults are perfectly free to crawl around in the woods grunting and rooting in the earth for tubers — organic ones — if that is how they choose to live their worthless, humorless, clenched, sphincterish, sterile, denatured, timid, epicene, unmanly, snivelling, safe little lives. I care not.

NYC perpetrated some imbecile ordnance like this just recently, or announced the intention; no doubt the morons up here have been inspired by the example. Fifteen years ago, when I predicted that anti-smoking hysteria, if successful, would without fail be followed by laws banning fatty foods, people laughed. Who's laughing now, Pollyanna? Motherfucker.

First they take your guns, then your cigarettes. Disarmed, weakened, and helpless, you will at long last be powerless to resist when they come for that most precious thing of all: Your fat. It is un-goddamn-American, is what it is, is all. For fuck's sake.

Will no-one rid me of these troublesome body-Nazis?

UPDATE

AAARRRGGGHHH!