December 29, 2006
im thiknkgign teh guy who invnnetned beaseball. he musta dremed it up an than gone out lokin for a buncha guys to try it out. maybe in a bar. so he wlaks in an says 'ok guys hers what u gota do here...' etc ctc an expaplsins the twhole thing. their like 'yuo want us to do what?' so he tels em again! an they lookat im an furow there brows an look at each aother.
than tey start punchign im.
try asi might i just cant imagaine myself tryigna talk people inta staning around in a field all day scratchign their nuts.
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But no, Arlington, the guy in your thought experiment didn't first go into a bar. He must have caught sight of a bunch of cowboys leisurely laying about, and realized they were the perfect material for his foolish project. At least, that's how similar forms of baseball started elsewhere. Shepherds, my man. They have both requisites for a baseball team: plenty of free time on your hands, and not enough brains.
It is one of the world's great games, and along with football golf tennis and rugby it was invented by Brits. To avoid any hint of arrogance for being so clever, Brits are total crap at playing each and every one.
But that was precisely my point, Bystander. Or, I may say, it's the gateway to a certain set of life and a way of values. Or the other way around.
Now that I think of it, my hypothesis has the additional merit of explaining the scratching of the nuts. For shepherds and cowboys, with their long hours spent away from home, are chronically deprived of female companionship, which induces one to do a lot of scratching--unless, that is, your shepherd is (a) Welsh, or (b) herding sheep on Brokeback Mountain.
Since sport is the Christians' favorite alternative to masturbation, this may also explain why America, the West's last Christian nation, is so enthralled with the interminable, baroque game of baseball. Me, I've got smaller fish to sauté.