December 23, 2009
techanolgy newws!
so teh hot c ristmasn itam tahhis yheer is teh yapper stopper dog collar! its a gret lital gaget. it booasts 'Seven intensity levels for a wide variety of dispositions' an 'Surgical stainless steel contact points to minimize irritation to the dog's skin'.
teh heaart of the unit is a capacitor teh size of a pintglass form a old fender bass amp. for a slplit secand itll blast ur baloaved animal caompanion with 3200 volts! at the highast powar setign under idael conditiio0nts a mediamsize dog wil literaly burst inta flame! evan hte largast dogs wil be stone dead bafore they hit teh grouound.
so my queestoin to u is not can yuo aford to owan one a these beauties but rathar can you affrod not to? i leave hte answasr to that one up to ur conciscieances ladiesangentlamenan cashonloy pleasethankyou!
BZZZZTTZTZT!!1!1!
ps if antyhign gos wrorogn pls contact my atornys ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld bunghole an ziegfeld thxn!
Labels: carbon, progress, relationship advice, science, technology, token of esteem, Valco
June 05, 2006
Fisking Jack White
In the White Stripes' song "Ball and a Biscuit", Jack White states the following:
It was the other two which made me your third
But it was my mother who made me the seventh son
BZZZT! WRONG!
In humans and most other mammals the sex of offspring is determined by the male, or "heterogametic", parent.
So I won't deny that it's quite possible, Jack, that you are her third man, but it's a fact that if the proposed union produces issue, you, Jack, you will be solely responsible for its sex. Yeah, I'd look nervous too.
It is this kind of blatant and grossly irresponsible disregard for the truth which continues to erode public confidence in the record industry.
Of the three guitars pictured above with Mr. Don't-Know-Much-About-Biology, two are of particular interest: The guitar at lower right is a "Jetsons" Montgomery Airline, and the guitar at lower left is probably another Airline, but possibly a Supro Belmont; the two are very similar. Same manufacturer. All of these are fiberglas-bodied instruments from the 1960s. Cool guitars, but prices have risen since Mr.-Can't-Get-His-Facts-Right started waving them around. More guitar pr0n here and JW gear here. In the video for the Raconteurs' "Steady as She Goes", Jack is seen playing another model of Airline. I've just learned that Eastwood Guitars make pricey-ish hollow wood-bodied reissues of the "Jetsons" Airline and the Supro Belmont. I haven't played either, and the nearest dealership is in Portland, ME. Maybe next weekend.
Those anywhere near Philly might check out these guys, too.
Update!
More freaky guitar porn! Lotta Teiscos, Corals, four Airlines, Mosrites, sundry Vox copies, a Hagstrom Futurama, and a Supro down at the bottom. And dig some fuzz daddy-o. Yeah.
Labels: biology, guitar, Hagstrom, Jack White, Mosrite, music, rock'n'roll, science, Supro, Teisco del Rey, Valco, Vox
