so I told my girlfirend i took this test that said im 4% hippie. i musta got teh four points for likin my meat raw. but anyhoow i caled her a hipie just to piss her off an she sais 'yeah wel im moare of a hippy then you because im intersted in off-the-grid selfsufficient living an your not'.

whcih she damn well knows my interests and what exactly about beign a postapocalyptic warlord isnt offgrid and selfsufficient? so i was all 'dude man admit im a hipy or ill eat ur liver'. you have to know how to relate to women.

update!

heck ive even got a celestial soul portrait!

Labels: methods considered unsound, relationship advice, retarded internet memes

so teh hot c ristmasn itam tahhis yheer is teh yapper stopper dog collar! its a gret lital gaget. it booasts 'Seven intensity levels for a wide variety of dispositions' an 'Surgical stainless steel contact points to minimize irritation to the dog's skin'.

teh heaart of the unit is a capacitor teh size of a pintglass form a old fender bass amp. for a slplit secand itll blast ur baloaved animal caompanion with 3200 volts! at the highast powar setign under idael conditiio0nts a mediamsize dog wil literaly burst inta flame! evan hte largast dogs wil be stone dead bafore they hit teh grouound.

so my queestoin to u is not can yuo aford to owan one a these beauties but rathar can you affrod not to? i leave hte answasr to that one up to ur conciscieances ladiesangentlamenan cashonloy pleasethankyou!

BZZZZTTZTZT!!1!1!

ps if antyhign gos wrorogn pls contact my atornys ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld ziegfeld bunghole an ziegfeld thxn!

Labels: carbon, progress, relationship advice, science, technology, token of esteem, Valco

[HMAS] Melbourne... was the only British Commonwealth naval vessel to sink two friendly warships in peacetime.

emphasas mine.

Labels: cultural anthropology, relationship advice, the imponderable mysteries of the human heart, Thomas Hobbes

"if i wereked teh car u we're parylazyed? dude id totaly do teh rirght thign by yuo an finisish u off."

not althagethar suu're waht i saiad worng but my avise is dont cal er 'dude'.

Labels: relationship advice