October 04, 2005

idiat wach

nicalas cage has namd his son 'kal el'. aftar suparman. whatta a-hole.

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"The prolific performer won an Academy Award as best actor for his 1995 role as an alcoholic bent on suicide in "Leaving Las Vegas."

...which is shurely the second-worst film ever made. Best Actor? Mr. Cage's strapping whistling musclebound contrivance is easily the least convincing depiction of an alcoholic I have ever seen on screen or off it. If I ever meet him I shall ask him for my money back. Then I shall kick him in the groin for calling his son "Kal-El".

I hope his next film will be called "Leaving Hollywood".
“….the least convincing depiction of an alcoholic I have ever seen on screen or off it.”

Audrey my duck, have we met?
I believe you are a Glaswegian, Dr. Maroon? Then it is certainly possible that we have met. All the more so if you are "partial" to a "wee dram".

At a baker's shop in Glasgow:

Customer: Is that an eclair or a meringue?

Salesgirl: Naw, you're right, it's an eclair.
Could have been worse:

"Moon Unit"
There is a DJ 'round these parts going by that moniker. Now that I know what it means he seems even more pathetic.
Kal-El Cage = Legal Cake.

Deeper forces are at work here, my friends.
Cake is already legal, at least in Glasgow. At least eclairs.
v - isnt it leagal to sshoot poeple like taht out thare? like 'he needed killin' kinda thing?

oddrey - yeh tehyre legel but their deepfried. an the 'am i wrang' joak is amastarpiece. once it sank it.
oh an holy crap levign los vegas was godawfal. i get cold chils jus thikning about it.

i liked machstick men until i relized that thats teh only part sam rockwel can play. but it was fun in teh theatar yelin at teh screen 'how can u posably trust taht guy didn you see charlies angals?!'
Well, if the law comes after me I'm going to have to refer them to you.
Who was Jo-el then?
HAHAHA there are few outwith a 50 mile radius of Glasgow that would get that.
In a frightening way, isn’t of buns of steel Hawtrey’s percipience rather sobering as well?
My bottom is the least of my talents, Dr.M.

A ball bounced into a paint shop and said, "Is that a purplish red or a maroon?" And the paint salesman said, "Stop taking the piss."
dr m - naw! but teh 'perplas red' one now thats fair stonkarin me.
wy teh hel doo tehy cal u guyz galswegiens? is it supost to rime weth norwejians?

wy not glasgowers or gllasblowers or sumthing mor lojikl?
HAHAHA, consider “am I round?”, but enough of that, once again you and your sleazy smug East Coast Ivy League “academics” have seen to it that the little fellow is passed over again. The winner of the Nobel this year for natural philosophy goes to some git whining on about wave particle duality. Jeeze, tell us something we don’t know. I’m as sick as a parrot. And his dynamite was shit as well.
Jeff, they call us that because they hate us.
Nicholas Cage always seemed so wooden that one could make furniture out of him.

Not that I'd want any in my house, mind. Postmodern furniture manufactured from Hollywood stars may make sense ecologically, and certainly would increase quality of fillums, but how would one get the bloodstains out of the carpet?

Perhaps as lawn furniture.
You could get a nice sideboard out of Kim Basinger
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