December 20, 2005
lookit lookit i touk a pichar!!1!
so i got a neew telaphoane yestidy. it it took a whial to etlel teh girl waht i wannit cuase aparantley 'a like flapy one' isn a term of art in htat feild. im aposta know this?! jeez! but she was real nice thuogh.
an but an so anyhow im liek 'i jsut wana real cheap one an on tihs point i wil not be swayed' an shes all like 'cool we got chaep ones! oh but tihs one has litl lights taht go blink!' whcih i hada amit was prety cool evan thuogh it cost moare. an than some of em had buetooth. which is rely cool watevar it is. an u can get em with a camer in em! an an a picher in teh litle glowy thign! so aftar i tlaked to er an looked at em we dacided teh best fit for my actiave lifestiyle was a rely thin flat flapy one that u can sned email an takea picher! ok it coust abuot five tims i wanted to spend an im stil not quite suare how that hapand but its a nifty gaget anyhow.
finly las night i figrud out how ta get it opan an tihs morinign i tooka pictcher! i did! dude taht is sooo coool!
fergot ta men toin! i ast teh gril what to do with my ol phaone an she siad u can donate em to battard womens sheltars. cuase evena wihtout the sim card u can stil dial 911 wiht it. i gues teh idea is so the cops can get thare fifteen minuts later while er corpse is still warm. beter then nothign i guess but why not give em each one a these? problam solved.
stil cant figure out howta cal sombody with it thuogh. mabe this kind dosn do that. no loss. popel just talk a lota crap anyways.
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That was my favourite bit in this whole enthralling prose poem, but it was very hard to choose. You are a Wordsworth for the 21st century.
Did this salesgirl flirt with you then? Is that why you bought the expensive cellphone?
I have no doubt at all that the salesgirl flirted with him. Those pretty little things, they are always flirting, even with a man who wears a plague mask, but they learn their lesson in the end, don't they?
"nobody", weren't you the very rude young man, in the Che Guevara t-shirt, who made my latté this morning? You did a very poor job of it, and the infection about the metal stud in your lip is really quite revolting. I should get it looked at, if I were you. It smelt of gangrene. But perhaps you have been in hospital already.
Maybe it's just a poor-quality camera, though.