May 21, 2006

good neews!!

so teh five secand rule is valid! sience proves it!

always knew id be vindacaated. they say it dosn work for stickky foods but just be tween u an me there wrpmg abipt that one. well i mean ok it dapens on what u got growing on ur floor but theres room to manuver at least. poepol are too picky.

im totaly gona print that atricle out an bring it next time i go on a date!

'eew' my ass honey! science says ur wrong!

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Eating food off the floor is always a surefire way to strike a really romantic chord. Isn't that what they did in that one movie? I could be wrong about this.
 
Maybe now there'll be fewer complaints about giving me blowjobs just 'cos my knob touches the floor.

God, I miss my legs...
 
The One-Week Rule has always worked perfectly well for me.
 
That's because it takes at least that long for germs to devour dropped food.

If that's their justification, then I suspect that article belongs in 'The Onion.' And the only non-sticky food is teflon-coated food.

But don't try to bring up science on a date, Arlington. It's a surefire recipe for going home alone. Try Sartre instead. Or Kelly Clarkson. They're interchangeable, really--except that the French old bastard was ugly as a frog. But they say some chicks dig that.
 
Or you could say something existential like, "Hell is Kelly Clarkson."
 
...but what if you pick her up in less than 5 seconds?
 
Depends what sort of floor, doesn't it? I wouldn't want to eat anything I'd dropped on my bathroom floor even if I caught it before it landed.
 
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