January 05, 2006
A Quite Frightening Development
The Americans have discovered a very large prime number, which they claim, is the largest yet. Predictably, they will attempt to keep it for themselves, even though the set of all integers, including the primes, is the common inheritance of all the world, and should rightly be under the wise governance of an appropriate international body.
This vulgar selfishness is no laughing matter. Very large prime numbers are an indispensible resource for the digital protection of information, which is called, encryption. As the Americans crudely and cold-bloodedly race to seize the high ground and sequester all of the large primes for their own, no doubt militaristic, use, they recklessly deplete a scarce and finite resource desperately needed in the developing world.
We must demand that this number, this alleged number, be turned over at once to the proper authorities, so that it may be divided fairly.
Of course the Americans are always bragging about how they have the world's largest ball of twine, or the largest hamburger, and then there is their dreadful 'World' Series, so you must take their claims with a grain of salt. It may very well be that this supposed very large prime, is merely a perfectly common little number, like eleven, or eighty-three.
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That's just an open invitation to corruption.
What we need is a free-market solution. The new number should be auctioned off to the highest bidder.
Sure, they won't last as long as the US prime number, but other than Harry, few people theat I know use them so roughly during sex.