January 05, 2006

A Quite Frightening Development

The Americans have discovered a very large prime number, which they claim, is the largest yet. Predictably, they will attempt to keep it for themselves, even though the set of all integers, including the primes, is the common inheritance of all the world, and should rightly be under the wise governance of an appropriate international body.

This vulgar selfishness is no laughing matter. Very large prime numbers are an indispensible resource for the digital protection of information, which is called, encryption. As the Americans crudely and cold-bloodedly race to seize the high ground and sequester all of the large primes for their own, no doubt militaristic, use, they recklessly deplete a scarce and finite resource desperately needed in the developing world.

We must demand that this number, this alleged number, be turned over at once to the proper authorities, so that it may be divided fairly.


Of course the Americans are always bragging about how they have the world's largest ball of twine, or the largest hamburger, and then there is their dreadful 'World' Series, so you must take their claims with a grain of salt. It may very well be that this supposed very large prime, is merely a perfectly common little number, like eleven, or eighty-three.

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But if it's a prime number, it can't be distributed fairly.
Of course it can be distributed fairly. All that is needed, is a commitment to justice, and the political will to make it a reality.
Sure, sure, like the inernet is the common inheritance of the world and the "wise" UN should govern it.

That's just an open invitation to corruption.

What we need is a free-market solution. The new number should be auctioned off to the highest bidder.
Something as important as this can't be left either to the free market or to regulation by a popular body. I'd give it to a benevolent dictator myself.
I think I'll wait until it becomes a past-its-prime number then snap it up for a bargain. Will I need someone to help me lift it into my living room?
Eh, give it a week and the Chinese shall be manufacturing cheap knock-off prime numbers.

Sure, they won't last as long as the US prime number, but other than Harry, few people theat I know use them so roughly during sex.
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