March 06, 2006

ha! tajke that!

if taht lazy pom hutten can post poams surely iud betray my inbron yanke inganuty not to shamlesly folla suit. so ere e is! "tehf avorate of all mancaster" john coper clarlckle!

The fucking view is fucking vile
For fucking miles and fucking miles
The fucking babies fucking cry
The fucking flowers fucking die
The fucking food is fucking muck
The fucking drains are fucking fucked
The colour scheme is fucking brown
Everywhere in chicken town

fucking read teh whoale fucking thing. some scery storys ovar they're too. kindna stuf lovcarft usta do but wihtout teh squds. which lets face it i nevar did figare that part out with ol h.p. whats his deal? sqiuds are darn hard nott ta like. their inteligeant an clean an afectioinate. waht moare do u want in a pet? obvoiusly h.p. hovarcraft nevar dozed of with a nice wram squid curld up on is legs.

update!

wel not a gient squidt. be relistic.

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I don't recall it ever being proven that HP wasn't a squid himself, so perhaps he was just displaying some of that endearing self-deprecation the English are so well-loved for. I know he wasn't English but that's a technicality.
 
Other technicalities: the English are rarely self-deprecating, almost never endearing, and well-loved only by those who take them at their own valuation (viz. the English).
 
...nor are they ever actually English, they are all the time whinging that so-and-so is actually Welsh or Scottish or Gaelo-Norman or what-not...
 
Never mind all that! get over here quick :

http://thesemoments.blogspot.com/2006/03/raed-me.html

someone's at it!

Showing my age here but, some JCC (I had the record)

Beasley Street.

far from crazy pavements,
the taste of silver spoons,
in a clinical arrangement,
on a dirty afternoon,
where the faecal germs of dr freud are rendered obsolete,
The legal term is null and void,
In the case of Beasley street

It goes on for ages getting worser and worser. I had forgotten about him.
 
Ha Ha Ha doesn't do that though, Dr Maroon. There is no structure to his disordered spelling, quite often the words he uses are not even anagrams and have all sorts of extra letters in them, in front of them or at the end- I don't think he means anything erudite by his garbled writing, he is merely being capricious
 
Yeah, the great JCC,Beasley street, a perfect snag in time.Shame about the honey-puffs though.
 
HP was *New* English, so even better.

Charming poem, 3H - brought a tear to my eye. So evocative of dear old Manchester. Almost makes me want to go back just so I can leave it all over again...
 
fot - hmm! good pnoit. an to lend it credance teh media are suspicioisiusly unwiling to entertane speculatoin on taht isue.

ano - nevar nederign?! duno. i aways wanad to give magie thachar a big hug myself.

poltron - an tehyve been ruled by forenars for 1000 yers wihtout evar amiting they ever got conqard.

dr m - hmmm. taht scrambmly thigns a fake i baliefe. i wihped up a quicky impalmantion of teh algarmtimth an u just cant raed teh output worth crap. the one u linkend was adone by hnad i bet.

ilivia - 'capricious' is parsisly teh word! thank u.

iven - yep. prorvadence iirc. but ive been al aruond that town an nevar once seen a monament to im. poor guy. of cuorse they got no moniamants to the imortal s. j. perelman ether. so mabe its onea thhem prophats-an-hometowns thingns.
 
Manchester should just be left behind, never to be mentioned again--like a dead uncle who committed suicide after being exposed as a pedophile or something. At least that's my experience. Why would anybody write songs about it defies all powers of human comprehension.
 
Of course the difference is one of quality. I was worried that some beastly academics were cashing in. They should stick to grafting ears onto lab mice.
 
Ah, Jack C Clarke! I can particular recommend the live set, Ou Est La Maison de Fromage, recently reissued on "compact disc".
 
Fromage available as free downloads here.
 
Don't mean to be nosey, but what's Noreen's box doing on your site?
 
That's easy, FE, imagine the conversation:
Noreen: That's a nice-looking blog you've got there, cuntface, wouldn't want anything to happen to it. Would you like a copy of my box on it?
HaHaHa: er... yes, Ma'am!
 
d.a. - u got me. mabe its like nabakovs story about how he came to wright loleta. abuot teh zoo ape who larnde to draw but all he drwe was teh bars of his cage.

dr m - if theyd graft a few ers onta eachothar thatd be even betar. id pay to see thatl.

litleprnces - wahoo! thank u. trubal is i cant figare utouwwhat alnguage it si. abuot one suond outa ten seems errily remaniscent of english in a way i cant quite define.

fote etre - wel i figurd shes not getign much trafic thare an id get evan less so may as well cognlomarate.

jtp - dude! u ewere lisaning!
 
"Psycle Sluts" is the Bard of Salford's best:

...twin-wheeled existentialists steeped in the sterile excrements of a doomed democracy, whose post-nietzschean sensibilities reject the bovine gregariousness of a senile oligarchy...

If you haven't heard his voice yet, please do so:

http://www.cyberspike.com/clarke/audio.html
 
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