March 18, 2006

hlep for teh gromles

gormless adj. Lacking intelligence and vitality; dull.

Etymology: From dialectal gawm, sense, from Middle English gome, notice, from Old Norse gaumr.

hmmm.

went to ikea tody. kindna crepy. u wlak aruond and arouund aimlasly but u mnust be going whare they wnat u to because u nevar see the same thing twice until u strart ovar. an than u see teh same thingns in exacly teh same ordar. once i triad to go back but the're is no goign back. i was sweapt onward in a rivar of hipsters. hows taht for aimles? i have nevar seen so many rectaguler blackframed eyeglases in al my life. im gona be waiking up in a cold swaet for weekis.

startad thinknign all theem hipstars wuold spawn an die whan they redched the cgheckouts.

so anyway i was gona buy a deskchari but than i got to teh place hwere the boxes are an it was to big for my car. culda mabe wedged int in teh trunk with bungecords but than i remebard the trunks still fula bags a sand for tractoin in the snow. argh. bastard. dint wana dump em out in teh parking lot.

it was than taht i saw teh gorm. wihc clerly was just what id been misign all day. but it was too late.

hjowevar i did buy a fügli an a snött. danmed if i know hwat they are but they sure do look good!

update!

amost frogot! theres was also sorta afectleslooking poeople wiht urpoean acents an lethar pants. leathar pants! i kid u not! buncha freaks.

anetharo update!

tahts 'pants' as in 'truosars' for al teh pervy brits in teh odiance.

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Comments:

Whatever you do, don't leave your fügli and your snött alone together for an instant. They're natural enemies in the wild, you know - they'll tear your house apart in their vicious battle for supremacy...
 
Is 'fuegli' Swedish for 'fugly'?

Those people you saw are not hipsters, you know. They're pretentious office dorks; a hipster will not be caught dead at Ikea, and certainly not wearing the oh-so-five-years-ago black-framed glasses. Hipsters buy retro 1970s stuff from used furniture stores. And their glasses have grey, brushed-titanium frames. Time to get out more, 3H.
 
ivon - dont i know it! at niaght i hoble em.

desruges - im nto sure what füis sweedish for but when i gougaled it i gota buncha hits in waht i thikn was iclandic. they use eth still right?

now as for the hisptars filve yers ago is stil a few years ahead of teh cruve by my standrads.
 
Those are just gorm shelves: You must supply your own gorm.
 
I don't think those are Europeans, 3H. They're Germans--a populace onto themselves.

I have a German friend living here in 'Merica, and he loves to sport his black leather pants on nights out at the pub. Last week, a German woman came for a job talk on my campus, and her idea of business fashion cool was leather pants, a black turtleneck, and a grey blazer. She might have been a lesbian, tho'.

At any rate, the Eighties are not over in Germany. In fact, they're still all the rage.
 
odiance has a nice ring to it, maybe as a replacement for "odiousness"
 
I tried to help K-Mart out of their financial woes by applying Ikea's business model to their furniture department.

I had almost completed adding umlauts to all of the vowels on their furniture department signs, when they kicked me out without even thanking me.

Bastards!
 
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