March 15, 2006

stupad qestoin

juts saw a bumpar stickar that said 'waht wuold buddha do?'

uhh... not a whoale helofa lot?


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Well, laugh. Or shrug? The Shrugging Buddha. I could worship that.

He'd think "What the Hell am I doing behind the wheel of a car? I can't drive!" and promptly plough into a building. Extra points if it's a mosque - I'd love to see how that one turned out...
Somebody sent me the tenets of Jewish Buddhism:
1. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such round shoulders.
2. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
3. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
4. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
5. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
6. If there is no Self, whose arthritis is this?
7. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
8. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.
9. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third sip, eat a Danish.
10. Be patient and achieve all things. Haggle and get them cheaper.
11. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are 10,000 flowers. Each flower blossoms 10,000 times. Each blossom has 10,000 petals. You might want to see a specialist.
12. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
13. Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then, what do you have? Bupkes!
What would budda do? Fuck all. They also serve who only stand and wait!
Bystander, good one, am filching it to send to everyone I know!
Buddha would train as an amputation surgeon in order to annoy a rock band; or in other words, learn detachment to get to Nirvana.
At the very least, he'd do some meditating--wouldn't he?
I think he'd be too busy reflecting on his past actions to do anything:
Buddha, woulda, shoulda.
Being rather a rotund fellow, I think he'd probably have gone to a drive-through for a burger.
He'd spell 'waht wuold buddha do' properly for a start.
brab - i prafer bysnandars kvetching and noshing buddhas.

iven - been to thialand lately?

byantnder - funy!

s.b. - some of em who sand an wait arnt sevring. their just lazy. i speak form extensive persnal experince.

phil - ba-doom chshshsh.

da - nah taht mediation crap is ovarsold. buda nevver wasted his time on that crap. he was busy wiht teh chicks whiale there husbans we're meditaing.

jtp - heh!

h.b. - damn strate. an fries too an a pepsi. cant rech nervana on a emty stomch.

f.e.. - tahtys how it is speled in sanskrit or urdu or whatevar. think i didn do my home wrotk?
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