March 12, 2006

sharungkan hedas!

wel ive been thignkign about shrunkan heds all day. as big bil broonzy use to say "i woke up teihs moringing wiht shurnkna heads on my mind".

teh dyaks in borneo useta smoke em. i mean in the sense like youd smoke a salmen not like you smoake a ciggerete. their whole aconemy was moare a less shrunkan-head-based. suonds like itd be inflationery but shrunen heads arent as durable as youd think so it wasn too bad. also they perodicly had epademics an shrunken heads we're no goud if the orignal ownar just got sick an died. so u miaght say cholera was sortsa the alan greenspan of borneo.

but so teh thing is its just rely fun too walk around sayin to urself 'shrunken heads... shurunkan haeads... heh heh... heh heh heh...' poeople wondar why ur smirkign. but ur like 'heh heh heh fuck em. they dont know abuot the heads.'

im telin ya man you wana get in this shrukan hed thing on teh ground floor. youl wont regret it.


erader seanh bruigns to uor atention teh shurunaken head emporiam of ecudoar! their havin a "Stock Head Blowout Sale!!" wiht two exlamatoin points!

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Big Bill Broonzy kicks ass. I read a couple of 'Eerie' comics from the 70s Warren stable recently which advertised lessons in making shrunken heads from fruit - Apple Sculpture, they called it. Comics aren't the same nowadays.
whan i was abuot eight i sent away for a big ol swichblade avertised in teh back of a ocmicbook. nwo ud think my parants wuld of ficgurd if was old enuogh to be ordarin stuff thruoghg teh mail i was old enough that they otta raspect my privecy an not opan the pakcige. but they didn. got a good talkin to outa that one. they wouldan let me keep teh knife ethar.
I didn't even know they had lesbians in Borneo, let alone that you could get your head shrunk by one.
I pretty much assumed that you were a shrunken head.

I can see the appeal, tho'. They make excellent keyrings, and they're guaranteed to break the ice at parties. Nothing gets a young slapper hotter than a shrunken head lobbed into her cleavage. They knock a rabbit's foot into a cocked hat for starters...
Transatlantic misunderstandings. Philip is thinking of dyeks, probably dyeks dressed only in a loincloth and wrestling in the mud. And I fancy a fag.
I just got that inflationary gag. Christ.
I'd like a shrunken psychiatrist's head, but can you imagine going over there after your vendors had sacked a local hospital and had their way with the staff, and asking 'which doctor shrunken shrink?'

I'm no expert: Can one get heads that reexpand 'just add water'-like?
Damn. I looked all over, but I guess anyone selling real shrunken heads isn't advertising. The closest I can find are "made in Ecuador by indigenous artisans, crafted from animal skin using traditional methods". They are still pretty damn boss though.

Oooh!! Some shrunken heads mounted on poles around your skull pile would be badass!
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