March 19, 2006

Why you should not smirk

I read once about a smug, sniggering young man who would walk up to people and say, "I just bought real estate in your head", and smirk. He thought he was very clever, that he could startle people, into admitting that he existed. He must have been a hippie.

I would like to meet that young man. I would like him to try that line on me. I would laugh along with the joke good-naturedly. Then I would startle him, by breaking his jaw. Finally, although I am usually quite well-behaved, I would kick him in the testicles.

That is all.

Comments:

"He thought he was very clever, that he could startle people, into admitting that he existed."

The only people you could startle into that are solipsists, or avid readers of Bishop Berkeley's sophisms. If you want to startle any other people, tell them their credit card has been cancelled.

Judging by the end of your post, it sounds like you want to convince yourself that he existed.
 
Oh Jesus.... Helen Haridon is Noreen?
 
footo - nah jsut a plagarist.
 
But with better language skills. I suspect she's American.
 
Too many commas, in my opinion, to say she has better language skills.
 
No, she knows her commas. Plus, the prickly she-Mick only calls people 'cunts', but Dr Haridon delivers. A woman who could knock your teeth out, AND leave you writhing in pain--you gotta take that seriously. Noreen's just foaming at the mouth, that's all she does.
 
Desargues, I suspect you would be not at all startled, if your credit card were cancelled. And I would be frightfully startled if I were to wake up and find myself American, wallowing as they do in a litter of spent shell casings and empty Big Mac tins. But that is all by the way.

What is not by the way, is that I will hear no ill spoken of Noreen's literary output. She does not merely call people 'cunts'; she calls them 'cunts' in her own inimitable way. She is in fact, a fucking genius, you slavic clown's cunt.

Ribose Polymerase (if that is your real name), commas are a very dear and mysterious thing, treasured by the spiritual and creative soul. You, would not understand.
 
dont mnind her shes ont eh rag.
 
I didn't get my diploma in drug-store psychology, but I'll venture a conjecture anyway: your admiration for the bilious Irishwoman's sputterings may be explained by the well-behaved woman's envy at the ease of the uninhibited proletarian.

In this country, people still have the right to an opinion (as long as they don't say too much), but I'm gonna challenge the view that there's anything inimitable about Noreen's style. The first two or three posts you read have a quant charm about them. Then, they become as predictable as rain in England.

Does 'Slavic' modify 'clown' or 'cunt'? 'Cause my mother tongue is Romance. I dislike most Slavs--except for Polish women.
 
Noreen is anything but proletarian, Des; that's the point. She's dirty posh totty.
 
I don't understand American stuff. Is HH a doctor, or does she come from Maryland? Or both?
 
As the nominally female persona of Ha^3, she is quite obviously a 45 year old vice cop. Why don't you send her some personal mail and find out for sure?
 
I don't think she's a cop. At some point in the past, she dabbled in Nietzsche. Uebermenschen and all that. Cops are trained to respect authority above all.
 
At any rate, the good doctor's conclusion is a non sequitur. From the fact that smirking young men engaging in bizarre ontology may be reprehensible it simply doesn't follow that all smirking is illegitimate. That's a fallacy, Docky--they call it a Hasty Generalization. Bad inductive logic.
 
"Hasty", indeed!

What an absurd notion. My generalizations are patiently crafted to be as inclusive as possible.

Bystander, they pronounce it "mayralin", like a drunken John Wayne. It's a horrible sound.
 
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