January 13, 2006
a lady i wrok with just lost er gramnothar. to mortalety. wihc is a comon afliction but stil. makes you thikn eh?
so i thuoght maybe i shuld make arangemants. just to keep my ducks in a row. so i wen't to a mortuerist an siad lets plan tihs out ok? he gave me a lota crap abuot how the customar comes first etc an teh first thing he asks me is like 'whe're do u want to be baried?' wel im not picky. anywhere will do rely. i dont give a rats ass. what im concernd about is a monumant. so i just hamard on thaht point until he wsa like 'ok we got pink granate an gray geranate an u can have a video screan embeded in it an blah blah'. all tihs kitschy crap. im like 'ugh! no! horable!' but they'res no daflectin im.
but finly i got his atention.
'ok mr hynes what kina marmorial do u want?'
'well i wanta pyremid of skulls. big. aweinsprign if u see waht im drivin at here.'
an sudanly ohhhh no the custamer dosn come first aftar all! nope! hes like all lafhguin nervosly an like 'ha ha funy' so i grab is tie an haul im ovar the desk an explain myslef more distincly. a bit loud too but this guy wasn a good listanar u know?
'i! must have! a pyramed! of skulls! human skulls! or u will answr to teh contrery at ur peril!' an i was yankin his head bakc an froth for punctuetoin.
to make a logn storey short the poor creap dosnt handal presure real well. an ill be takign my business elsewhere.
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You will have to set up a trust fund to pay for the security of your pyramid, you know. Also, to economize you could use lawyers' skulls or monkey skulls in the interior.
I advise against economizing. This is your monument. You should go for quality and use the skulls of vanquished enemies only. Except maybe top the pyramid off with a bull or ram skull. That might look pretty badass.
Anyway, if you're just looking for any old skulls these folks will take care of you.
Heck, with a little foreplanning, the pyramid would hardly cost him a thing and he could have made a tidy profit on the transaction.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
They said it was making people nrevous when I would stare at their heads and mention that I needed a footrest.