March 29, 2006

The Thing

Dear, dear readers, I have begun, designing the Thing!

It will be a lovely, lovely Thing, guided by radio. It will loom above you, and you will flee.


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Sounds lovely. Really looking forward to it.
I think I saw you testing it at Andrews Air Force Base, when I was in Vegas. You looked really tough in khaki. But I thought that thing was for freedom-hatin' heretics. I love me some freedom, myse'f.
Also: "Dear, dear readers"? Are you simply shivering with anticipation at the thought of the Entity, or do you really love us that much?

In either case, I hear going out more often is of great help in regaining a more sedate frame of mind.
Helen -

My middle-class prejudices made me believe you were a nice lady. It was the MD that threw me. So I couldn't understand why you left such an insane comment on my blog.

Then I found that you share a blog with HA HA HA adn all bekme claer.

You are an MD in the same vein as Mengele or Crippen. Reading about the thing I am suddenly very afraid. Do you know where I live? Could you find that out from my Blogger profile? I may have to go into hiding for the sake of my children.

But it was very sweet of you to post a comment.

A lovely thing, guided by radio, looming above me... will it be Stephen Fry?
Thanks much, already have one.
Will it be smooth and round, and shaped like a smooth, round, shapely arse? I hope so.
Are you sure you have a licence for thing-building, Helen? - and if you are inventing it yourself I would get yourself a good intellectual property lawyer. I don't know where Dr Evil Scientist is these days, but I believe he has quite a few thing patents.
Well, Lord knows I could probably use the exercise. I know it's early yet, but you might want to keep weight-loss and fitness in mind when you get around to marketing.
Then she should design the Object to inspire various degrees of dread. It may be dangerous for very fat people to run too fast, at the beginning. As in most other endeavours, one has to start slowly, with a leisurely jog. Start with a prototype that's just slightly alarming, Docky. Then work your way up to one that will inspire true mass terror.
People flee from my fearsome Thing all the time.
Sounds iffy. I'm against it.
My dearest Helen Haridon. I too, have a looming thingy, and I’m not referring to the programmer with poor social skills and the joke delivery skills of a dugong.

Nay, I too have a floating thingy of doom! I was going to use it to subdue the unwashed masses at work, but you have opened my eyes to new and glorious vistas! After reading this post and the one about kicking Banana Republican clerks in the ghoolies, I find myself quite taken with you.

We have so much in common! Are you married? I hope not! Please find enclosed one love poem. I spent all of last night working on it.

More stunning than old Tory’s Helen,
Whose face had sunk a thousand ships,
I’d like to grasp you by your melons,
And turn you round to face the Nips!

Clearly, we were made for one another! Have your thing call my thing. We’ll do lunch.
I'm confused; who is this Helen person from the Tory Party? Was that on purpose or some bleedover from the HA^3 aspect? This whole Helen thing is very confusing for me. She should just show us her Thing and be done with it, or put it away.
Looks like we have two doctors hell-bent on world domination. Can't wait to see an encounter of their respective Contraptions result in a burst of sheer radiation and mutual annihilation. This should be fun to watch. Pass the popcorn, please.
Damn, I must have been thinking of Margaret of Tory. A face that truly sank a thousnad ships.
Oh, Maggie. The woman who could stare down an Exocet missile. Good luck matching that, Doctor H.
Any chance the "thing" could bring us a beer?
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