April 03, 2006
What is the reason for monkeys? I do not know.
I must ask poor Arlington to add a link in the window margin to Topic Drift.
Because the angry means success. Because Cola Head puts on his nicest denim overalls and dusts the candy brick. Because Denise Huxtable chill[s] us to the marrow with her relentless, unprovoked dancing.
Reeling still from the mortifying incident after lunch, for which I did apologize quite abjectly — and Giles was very kind, which somehow only made it worse — I searched for articles about raw garlic making one lightheaded and perhaps a little... you know. But all I found was this:
Perhaps avoiding frank discussion of bowel movements is one secret of a long-lasting relationship.
Perhaps that was my mistake.
Comments closed due to recurring comment spam on the colon theme from some stinking, shit-rolling imbecile that calls itself "Rik Martin".
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That's very sweet, don't you think? And I know just the friends I would invite!
Desargues, you are quite right. Have you ever seen Polly Toynbee drink a glass of water? The implications are clear.
Audrey, they have two flavors, ginger and peppermint! I would prefer ginger. Ginger is very healing for the chakras.
I must ask that Twenty Major if he'll accompany me. He must be about 100% toxin by now. It wouldn't surprise me if he gave birth to a crocodile.
I'm afraid the mintiness gets all wasted if it's consumed through the wrong end of the digestive tract. True, there is some analogy between the mouth and the anus--hence the American idiom 'to talk out of one's ass.' But the analogy is of limited value; we haven't been blessed with the presence of taste buds in the rectal area (fortunately, I should say).
The people behind the site that advertises industrial-grade colon cleansing say their claims are based on merely observational evidence. That sounds suspect. I'm reminded of people who claim to have seen witches, the Antichrist, and green little men coming out of shiny, elongated flying objects.
Noreen, Twenty Major says he has other plans for next weekend. Would you and Ball Bag care to accompany me and Mr. Hawtrey on a flying visit to Thailand? I am sure your nether regions are as pure as the driven snow, but I have no doubt that the scrotumy fella is in need of some rigorous internal sandblasting. You could post the photos here when we get back.
Anyway, Ball Bag and Noreen have now agreed to accompany me and Mr. Hawtrey to Ko Samui for a seven day mint-and-ginger blow-out. Perhaps Helen and Bogol would care to join the party?
But hey, it's a free Western world. You guys could be Britain's answer to America's Botox parties--exotic mint enema parties. Reinforce that reputation you've developed as skillful toilet humorists.