June 19, 2006

Dishonest Advertising

Dear Musician's Nemesis,

Your product description says that "The 2 Hootenanny Poly Strap turns any gig into a hootenanny." That claim is not accurate. I purchased the product and brought it to a gig with my Black Sabbath tribute band, but the gig did not turn into the hootenanny for which we had all braced ourselves. This was a bitter disappointment and led to considerable interpersonal tension within the band. Ultimately, amidst anguished recriminations and escalating episodes of savage violence, we went our separate ways. The Levy's corporation has a lot to answer for, and I fully intend to hold them to account.

Incidentally, I lack clarity about the "2" prefix. I feel that it is stupid. Please advise.


Arlington C. Hynes

June 14, 2006

Two Women in One House

Conservatives, especially American conservatives like the notorious right-wing eliminationist Harry Hutton and his monstrous accomplice Davies, often suggest, that sharing cannot work, and that social democracy is therefore doomed. "Right theory, wrong species!" they thunder, brandishing their firearms and chewing their tobacco.

They are worng however, and science, proves it:

"Two-headed snakes are rare, but they shouldn't be looked at as freaks," said Gordon Burghardt, a herpetologist...

Despite the risqué name, a herpetologist is merely an expert in the field of snakes. And what he has to tell us is of great importance to the world, for if two heads may coexist on the same snake for years, sharing their resources equally, then surely we can do the same.

June 13, 2006

thrils! chillls!

if ur haert cant take teh bretathlas excitmnant of wching grass grow have we gota actoinpacked thrillride for u!

at teh univ of queanslend theyve gota exparaemtn with pitch dripign through a funel. a actual drop falls approxametly once evry nine hyears. an theres a live pitch cam briging all theaction right inta ur living room!

thanks gaiel for ramindign me of this one.


anonnoymoouus coments...

We UQ-maths students used to get liquoured up and go over to the physics labs to tap the glass. Never could get it to go faster though.

invadign teh pitch eh? harrr har har har harrrr!

June 11, 2006


June 09, 2006

kiler fact!

dont baliev teh hype! shrews arnt rodants! frutharmore....

New Guinea, Australia, and New Zealand do not have native shrews at all...

looks saspicuous to me. makes u wondar wht their up to down the're dosnt it?

bonus fcat! teh wrolds largast tree was once namd for karl marx!

wel buut in fairnes this is all acording to wikapadia. an we al know waht thats worth.

noba betne!

breaking davelapmants (mosly grim) on teh pillbox story! includign cheerlaeders (not so grim) (but also not real skimply clad darnit)!

lotta that goign around today. hmmm.

June 06, 2006

teh thign speaks for itself

ok! that was teh lasst nerd psot! i sweear!

June 05, 2006

Fisking Jack White

In the White Stripes' song "Ball and a Biscuit", Jack White states the following:

It was the other two which made me your third
But it was my mother who made me the seventh son


In humans and most other mammals the sex of offspring is determined by the male, or "heterogametic", parent.

So I won't deny that it's quite possible, Jack, that you are her third man, but it's a fact that if the proposed union produces issue, you, Jack, you will be solely responsible for its sex. Yeah, I'd look nervous too.

It is this kind of blatant and grossly irresponsible disregard for the truth which continues to erode public confidence in the record industry.


Of the three guitars pictured above with Mr. Don't-Know-Much-About-Biology, two are of particular interest: The guitar at lower right is a "Jetsons" Montgomery Airline, and the guitar at lower left is probably another Airline, but possibly a Supro Belmont; the two are very similar. Same manufacturer. All of these are fiberglas-bodied instruments from the 1960s. Cool guitars, but prices have risen since Mr.-Can't-Get-His-Facts-Right started waving them around. More guitar pr0n here and JW gear here. In the video for the Raconteurs' "Steady as She Goes", Jack is seen playing another model of Airline. I've just learned that Eastwood Guitars make pricey-ish hollow wood-bodied reissues of the "Jetsons" Airline and the Supro Belmont. I haven't played either, and the nearest dealership is in Portland, ME. Maybe next weekend.

Those anywhere near Philly might check out these guys, too.


More freaky guitar porn! Lotta Teiscos, Corals, four Airlines, Mosrites, sundry Vox copies, a Hagstrom Futurama, and a Supro down at the bottom. And dig some fuzz daddy-o. Yeah.

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June 02, 2006


Ah yes, I see. Quite.


Someone has now fixed the problem.

June 01, 2006

no way. no way.

albania! ahhh albanea! a land rich in terditions an folkwayys an colorful peansant grab! but most of all rich in pillboxes.

wikpiedaeia claims theres "ovar halfa milion" pillboxas in albania. they also claimm albania is 11,100 squaare miles big (see sidebar here).

not to boare u with rapetign decimals thats abuot fortyfive pilboxes per square mile.

thats one holy haell of a lota pilllboxs! for comparision ther popalation densety is givan as 318.6/sq mi (same sidbar) wich coms to about 7.07 albanians per pill box.

i think they got somthign wrong their.

h/t iven ovar at topicderft who got me thiknign about enver hoxha.


'orwells ghost' just aded a comant sugesting i google enver hoxha. duhh! why didn i thinka that? but so anyway estimets of the pillbox count range as high as 750000. jesus taht was a miserble regime. ok mea culpa. i hadnt been real au courant on balkamn comunism.

ok now heres a bonuas capitelist bunker to lightan teh mood! the denvar broncos cherleedars visit norads cheyenne mountain opearatons center! (which denvar an cyhenne montan are both in colarodo u see).

not queit sutable for chidlran

is taht saposed to be a knee? or...?

somthigns just not right ovar at nintenda if u ask me.

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