April 18, 2006

taxes! nuns!

wel i did teh robotax htign agian an its rely prety slick! it goes an gets ur ifvestmant stuf an what not. dont ask me how but it evan knew abuot teh mony i gave the nuns for teh wave poeople in aferca or whatevar aftar last crismas. wel tehy said they we're nuns. shuld teh five a clock shadow have rased more dubots than it did? but u cannt ask a nun for id can u? i mean like 'yeah prove it sistar!' u know? just dossn come out right. but anyhow im stratign to wndar who they relly worked for.

but anyway! greaate nun story!

so ok im on teh gardan [sic] state park[sic]way in new jersy wihc is alot like that one circal of hell whe're evry boddys wearin a lead suit. excep at 80 mph. an my engine just sorta sighs gently an stops runign. which is usuly bad. but so i glid ovar to teh sholndar an dashed acrossd three moare lanes a graffic on foot (cuase i was in teh expres lanes in teh middal) an scarmbled thruhg a ditch (fula water! its decembar!) an up a bank an fuond a garage! menwhile id left my cat in teh car an im shitign bricks about teh por dumb brute beast all aloane there. so they tol me i hada go back to the car an waite for a cop to came by. aarrgghh! but so i did.

so finley cop comes by an cals a towtruck an i get a tow to teh next town. im in the cab wiht cat an drivar an all an they only take cash so he driaves me across this big mall parkignlot to a cash machien. but hafway across he sudanly slams on teh brakes! his face goes dead white an he nervosly an ingratiatignly waves tihs one sorta rusty ol car in ahead of im. i look an its fula nuns. so i look ovar at im an he sais...

"Fuckin' nuns, man. You don't wanna fuck with them."

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Comments:

Well, with a name like 'finley' the cop must have been Catholic so his reaction is understandable, really.
 
Too right. They have powers you know.

Running across three lanes of traffic is not too smart. Shoulda sent the cat with a note tied around its neck. Why should we always expect the long-suffering Lassie to help us out? It's about time those feline slackers started pulling their weight...
 
He probably knows what happened to Peter Abelard.
 
Nuns are spooky. Nuns in cars are fucking terrifying - I used to live near a convent and you had to watch out for those penguin-suited fuckers in their clapped-out yugos. When you have god on your side, you don't need to look both ways...
 
Convent school girls are, however, generally filthy. Which makes up for the nuns somewhat.
 
Yes we are, we really.
 
heh, Robotax.

"Dead or Alive, you're going to pay."
 
You wanna fuck with nuns? Get FMC on your side... she recently told us of the time she told her Mother Superior to "Fuck Off". Respect to that!
 
What kind of fucking lunatic takes his cat to New Jersey?
 
Those were the gardan state parkway nuns. They cruise around looking for trouble. They like to attack cats with bazookas.
 
What is the Garden State Parkway doing in Texas? I'm confused.
 
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