January 27, 2006

sevan dubm thigs noboddy cars abuot

okay norrean 'tageds' me an than teh cancar one did (posing as a litl gril for some wierd reson) so hurah for bof of em!

sevan moveis ive lovd

  1. VD: Hitler's Calling Card, US Army training film, 1942
  2. Don't Stick It in There, Soldier!, US Army training film, 1944
  3. When You "Do It" with HER, You're "Doing It" with HITLER!, US Army training film, 1943
  4. "This Is My Rifle, This Is My Gun" — Keep 'em Both Clean!, US Army training film, 1943
  5. VD: You Ain't a Man Until You Had It, US Marine Corps training film, 1944
  6. Girls: What Are They?, NSA training film, 1975
  7. The Beaver: Nature's Star Trek Fan, MIT Press Films, 1981

sevean boks i likw

  1. Fearsome Engine, iaian m. bnanks
  2. Grendel, John Gardner
  3. And the Ass Saw the Angel, Nick Cave
  4. Double Indemnity, James M. Cain

seven htigns i say

  1. err
  2. um
  3. uhhh
  4. huh?
  5. wha'?
  6. urk
  7. mmmnnn

seven things taht atract me to a city

  1. chance to tech taht hrothgar fella a good leson
  2. vary large magnats
  3. teh smell of prey
  4. a primmordial impulse to seek wramth an sheltar
  5. ancedstral homign instinct
  6. compulsian to repraduce
  7. gravety whan im uplhill form one
  8. their fulla shiny things! ooo! shiny shiny!

seven things to do bafore i die

  1. who givs a crap?

seven thigns i cant do

  1. give a crap

seven poeople to 'tag'

  1. vagugue
  2. dr evil sciantest
  3. olvea haris
  4. fot etar
  5. zbigniew brzezinski
  6. lester flatt
  7. earl scruggs

January 26, 2006

kilor fcat!

Dear Arlington,

My Grain is unmanaged. What ever shall I do?


A Reader

fret not lil lady! theare is sucha thing as grain managmant sofware.

its true. now u can end teh haertbrake of unamanaged grane! bet u didn expec taht whan u got outab ed this mronign!

January 23, 2006

killlar fact!

mishima yukio (er viceversa) was a vary stragne man.

St. Sebastian? WTF?

January 18, 2006

ok! its cheap shots at teh brits week!

From: info@icons.org.uk
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: Please confirm the nomination you submitted to icons.org.uk
Date: Sat, 14 Jan 2006 22:40:28 +0000

Thanks so much for nominating 'Spanking' as an icon of England 
for the ICONS online collection. 

You are helping us to paint a portrait of England through all 
the things we cherish or think are important about life in England. 



The Icons Project Team.

stil cant find it in teh list a nomenatoins. humerles goons! theirs anothar one misign to. batwean 'buckingam palace' an 'buldog'.


anglicenisam aint waht it useta be.

January 16, 2006

hep me uot he're wilya?

i was talakin to a bertish dude at work an i kep calin im a racast cuase eh waned to get hamburgars for lunch insteda thai. he kept sayign 'its hoddly feh' but i cut im off cuase it didn make any sence.

so wtf does taht mean anyhow?

January 13, 2006

last tihgns

a lady i wrok with just lost er gramnothar. to mortalety. wihc is a comon afliction but stil. makes you thikn eh?

so i thuoght maybe i shuld make arangemants. just to keep my ducks in a row. so i wen't to a mortuerist an siad lets plan tihs out ok? he gave me a lota crap abuot how the customar comes first etc an teh first thing he asks me is like 'whe're do u want to be baried?' wel im not picky. anywhere will do rely. i dont give a rats ass. what im concernd about is a monumant. so i just hamard on thaht point until he wsa like 'ok we got pink granate an gray geranate an u can have a video screan embeded in it an blah blah'. all tihs kitschy crap. im like 'ugh! no! horable!' but they'res no daflectin im.

but finly i got his atention.

'ok mr hynes what kina marmorial do u want?'

'well i wanta pyremid of skulls. big. aweinsprign if u see waht im drivin at here.'

an sudanly ohhhh no the custamer dosn come first aftar all! nope! hes like all lafhguin nervosly an like 'ha ha funy' so i grab is tie an haul im ovar the desk an explain myslef more distincly. a bit loud too but this guy wasn a good listanar u know?

'i! must have! a pyramed! of skulls! human skulls! or u will answr to teh contrery at ur peril!' an i was yankin his head bakc an froth for punctuetoin.

to make a logn storey short the poor creap dosnt handal presure real well. an ill be takign my business elsewhere.

specel comersce ruondup! today only! whilale splulies last!

walace an gormit brand wensalydale chease.

fuond it at the integrel foud markat in cabridge. kidna retaded isn it?

not sure why it didn focuas right. refalectvity confused teh ragefnider mabey? or teh rangefinder was poitnign at teh secand cheese down. or cosmac rays! or sunspots! or teh cia did it with haarp! heck they gota lota newage magezines at the checkotu they're. so the grey space alians mighta doneit to. or else my aura intarfered or it was misderectad chi.


teh new yrok tims wont take ads for going out of buusness sales from just anybody!

Distress sales of any kind may not be used by those who sell oriental rugs.

via raymand.

January 12, 2006

dire deary

drear direy...

i etta ottachoake. its not my favert. asparegers are beter.

than i walked down teh hal at work wiht my eys crosed. tos ee what it wass like. an i figuare its best to be in peractice just in case.

truns out its nontrivial! so i bumped inta som peoplele an wacked myhead on teh wallbut roame wasn biult in a day wasit? nope. an u gota walk bafore u can drive.

January 10, 2006


i wen't to buy gorcaries tonighght an on my way outa hte whoal fods markat i walked by this bolnd chick in the parkign lot. she was kina cute so i gave er teh eye u know an leared an flaped my eybrows. an wigaled my tonge a litle bit but in a tasful way. not anyhtign vulger. cause i culd tel she wantad me.

but so i hoped in my car an druv ovar to tradar joes two bolks away to get som moare grocarys an holy crap! im wlakin inta the store an i relize right in ftronta me is teh same broad! my god waht if she thoght i was folawin er? shed think i was a freak.

January 06, 2006

stupad game! swat teh vegies!

tihs games like totaly way betar then them cerabral wankitywank games hairy huton links to.

the coolast part is whan u lose.

via gael.


heres anothar wankity one. its brutal. it pikcs random qustions so u can play it agian. not a huge poola quastoens though. i keep getign repets.

via altuouse.

January 05, 2006

A Quite Frightening Development

The Americans have discovered a very large prime number, which they claim, is the largest yet. Predictably, they will attempt to keep it for themselves, even though the set of all integers, including the primes, is the common inheritance of all the world, and should rightly be under the wise governance of an appropriate international body.

This vulgar selfishness is no laughing matter. Very large prime numbers are an indispensible resource for the digital protection of information, which is called, encryption. As the Americans crudely and cold-bloodedly race to seize the high ground and sequester all of the large primes for their own, no doubt militaristic, use, they recklessly deplete a scarce and finite resource desperately needed in the developing world.

We must demand that this number, this alleged number, be turned over at once to the proper authorities, so that it may be divided fairly.


Of course the Americans are always bragging about how they have the world's largest ball of twine, or the largest hamburger, and then there is their dreadful 'World' Series, so you must take their claims with a grain of salt. It may very well be that this supposed very large prime, is merely a perfectly common little number, like eleven, or eighty-three.

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anatemy of a dorm slolo

amezon has movead form mearly tontign me wiht moronic sugestoins to outright persacution. tihs time its neil perts 'anetamy of a durm sola' dvd. yeah. taht neal preat. teh one teh maroons on usenet useta say 'hes gota phd in philasaphy!' like who gives a crap? ts eliat amost had a phdi in ihphlosophy. does taht make him amlost as good a drumar? wtf? infact it made him a a-hole. not taht he wuldna been anyhow.

lisen ta this crap:

Using a solo recorded in September, 2004 in Frankfurt, Germany as a framework, Neil talks about the concepts and technique behind each segment of this nine-minute tour de force...

or its gota specal dvd feature whare u can drive a nail inta ur forhead uinsted. they adad taht aftar discovarign they shoulda took the focus grups belts an shoelasces away. by minute 5 evary blesed one of em was swignin from the raftars.

Interview with ... Lorne Wheaton, Neil's drum tech Lorne Wheaton setting up and talking about Neil's drumkit...

jesas! ive setup a drum kit! its not taht hard!

Two explorations - completely improvised workouts at the drums, each over thirty-minutes long

thare are no words.


some fun in teh customar reviews atl;east:

Being a Rush fan since 1976, I can say without hesitation I have never had any "red helmet" experiences or telepathically induced sonic warfare fed into my brain.

The intensity and overwhelming abilities of his exceptional playing is even bigger than his inhuman Drum Kit.

Most exigent fans will be pleased as well because of exceptional material here.


hey dont get me worng! 'spirit of radio' was a graet sogng. cuople a othars to. they had there moments.

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