October 31, 2006
u know if you staire too logn inta a micraowave ovan whila its workign youl endup wastign teh whole godamn day.
October 29, 2006
a timley wranign!
not al is awlays as it apears! tihs nighntmareshly horrroble contast isnt as bad asit looks. waht their gona do is tahke the top10 runnersup an insteada givign em the prixze they we're promised there gonnna sell em inta slavary in somalia instead. an the top winner will be garoted an dumped in a quary.
its rely quitea decent an publicspireted thign the snixkckars croporation is doing here.
so bafore u8 judge be ssure u get all the facst. u maybe doisgn sombodiy a grave injsutice.
October 27, 2006
rory galalaher? masively ovarrated.
i dont give a rats ass eithar!
October 23, 2006
no damit thats not waht i meaent!!
u knwo waht rely pises me off abuout gogal?
if you serch for "uxorious triceratops" (with teh quotmarks — wifthout em u get some very distrubign results indeed) thers no hits. so than it asks you...
Did you mean: "amorous triceratops"
no damit u dumbass! waht knida sick freak would srearch for that?
'amarous' indeed. pfff.
October 21, 2006
It is for your own good.
Dear readers, please allow me to direct your attention to the Flamin' Groovies, performing their song entitied, "Slow Death", in 1972.
The story began, in medias res, here.
The old rector's broad yellow incisors, like playing cards, clacked meditatively.
He gazed out the office window at the sunlit lawn for a long moment, eyes unfocused.
Gradually, his massive turretlike head swivelled to face Reginald.
Reginald waited. No further sound forthcame.
The rector's brow clouded as he spoke.
"Well then perhaps I shall enunciate more clearly. Nnnnnffff."
"Oh. Yes... quite. Indeed. Yes. I quite see."
"Mmmmmmmm..." The rector began turning back to the window, so slowly that the motion could hardly be perceived, but within fifteen minutes he was again glaring placidly at the lawn. He then began to utter a low and plaintive moaning sound.
The moaning continued, and Reginald's palms began to sweat. An hour passed. At three sharp, a brightly smiling young woman bustled in with another young man to see the rector.
"And how was your interview?", she chirped. "Now, Mr... Twinge, if I've got it right?"
"Uuuuuuu..." The rector began to lean slowly forward, and then back again, cyclically.
"As I thought! Please sit. The rector will be with you quite soon."
Reginald exchanged a polite nod with Nkrumah, gathered his things, and left.
To be continued. Eventually.
'munchkinization' is a rael word.
October 20, 2006
brithdys shuould not be 'celabrrated'. they shuold be davoted to stark an horible soletary contamplaetion.
youv wastad ur life an your gona die.
its not my birfthdy ffs. im just. u know. just sayign.
October 17, 2006
poepal 30 yers ago hada lota time on they're hands!
My [calculator] makes the best sounds on overflow or error indications, and the various trigonometric functions.
yes kids u to can haave huours of fun wiht crapy radias an rf intraferance! actuely thopugh honestly i rely wana try it.
synaps hada brethtakignly nerdy leters section. bot if ur nota nerd its not funy its just horrafyign.
in othtar news
noate taht these are astreellian dolars. its not as bad as it souunds.
via raymend chen.
October 16, 2006
im very acepting actuly
ok ive got nothign againset toothy crazed alians! nothigin at all! its a frea controury an all that. were al unique in difarign ways!
but putign em in the suop is a bit much.
wel u gota tdraw the liane somwhaer
ok i wen't to get moy oioal chanagedn on my car an they watnead to know if id donate threee bucks to sick kids. wel i was like 'ok but whaddya mean 'sick'? how sick? dsisgusting sick or photagenic sick? cuase im all heart u know but if its disguasteng to hell with 'e'm. if they got soares an their all wierdlooking an whatnot im damned if imgonna donate any monay to encouurage that kindna thing.'
boy wahta buncha prueds they turnd uot to be!
word to teh wise! change ur own damn oil.
October 06, 2006
a hrudygrudy is not a godamn baral orgen an if u getit worng i will fuckigng cut you. taht is all.
October 04, 2006
q. why did teh romons stop getign invatatoins?
a. bcuase they aways declined!1!11
October 03, 2006
Let this be a lesson to you.
If I were able, I would build an enormous motorway in a perfect circle a hundred miles in diameter, far out in the desert. You would drive around it, and it would teach you all a thing or two, about geometry.
I would build it in Canada, where the Americans could not get their hands on it.
P.S. You should not mix your drinks.