February 28, 2006


the poetes olivea haris has done teh memy seveney thign wiich was very knind of her as its difacult for ur moare cryative type a souls oftantimes to adres they're atnention to such mundnane matars. htank u olivia.

i rule!

a mishef of mapgies is havign a 'voate for arlrignten' poll. only u can porp up my feabal slefasteem.


got ma ass whuped! birtney macshae takes teh onoers!

rotan basard

i jsut put a coparihgt notace on saomshting an in a spasam of waht pases for wit aruond here i wroate 'all rites revered'. so i was al pruond of myslef until i got nervas an gogled it.

some swine bet me to ti. bastard!

dont u hate taht?


its a abysmaly stupid joak. an not in a good way. sory.

February 27, 2006

my sugestoin to gmaiial


It's a massive hassle that GMail refuses to send zip files as attachments if they contain executables. It just screwed me again: I built a DLL and tried to mail it to my work account. GMail gave me the finger. This happens to me a lot, and it really gets on my nerves.

I understand that you're concerned about morons screwing themselves and all their friends, and that's a legitimate humanitarian position to take, but some of us are [software] developers. Not only are we well outside the scope of reasonable humanitarian (indeed, human) interest, but it is in fact our job to screw ourselves. GMail would be a handy addition to our self-screwing armamentarium if only it had some kind of "please let me screw myself" checkbox.


Arlington Copley Hynes

February 24, 2006

whoa! cool!

exost pipe flamthroar kits! fortyfive bucks u.s. for a single pipe kit!

gota get one. the chickys totely go for that (its evan betar then goat poop!). nex time u se me il have kate becxkansale on my arm. bet on it.

update! iwldly oftopic!

u can fly from bosten to irgkutsk for about a thousend bucks roundtrip. this would make considarably more sense than workin gfor a livigng.

update 2!

tee hee hee!

Q: Is there any truth in the rumor that you are thinking of leaving Montreux forever?

A: Well, there is a rumor that sooner or later everybody living now in Montreux will leave it forever.

wen't a-googling for the bit in speak memery about changing trains at teh rusian bordar late at night on teh way to teh riviera. cuoldn find it. but good ol blavdak didn let me down. he nevar does.

February 23, 2006

to serve man

seen at craite an baral

culd i make tihs up? no i cuolnd not. nor wuould i if i could.

i was in their lookign for a sort off gril wiht a stand to be suspnendad ovar a burnar on a gas stove. theres no such thing of course. i tried to xeplalin it to a salsegril an she actad like i was a ascaped mentel patient. u know how people get. some days i feal like a godamn space alien. nex time i go in teheyre ill flash colard lights at em an say 'beep beeep bepbep beeeeeep!' itl get me as far as talking evar did.

teh tital.

February 21, 2006

'spacious' bvds — vanguard of teh workers an pesants revalution!

hot news in teh filed of soviat undarwere studies! in a devastatign critique of capitals disastrous failure to suport boobies eficiently teh grauniad notes —

In contrast to most European countries, reports Dr Gurova, "the Soviet revolution cancelled corsets and dressed women in bras more quickly".


[in] the 30s and 40s ... Soviet life was becoming more abundant and joyful. ... Women's underwear became somewhat feminine.

early comie skivies are dascribd as 'spacious'.

thus shamas milne standns vidnicatad! i trutst that the cynical proegandnist for capital scott burges wil trade taht racy litle numbar hes wering for something more proletarian an isue a prompt apolagy.

got tihs form norm.

February 20, 2006

new cnuts!

ivan teh tarible is funy!

"How would you like to go to outer space without ever leaving your room?" says the astronomer. A forest of hands goes up. He picks a child, who promptly asks "What's that thing on your chin?"

an has a vote-forur-favaret-presidant contast. or survey. or somhting. anyhow go vote! its down to a slugin match betwean calvin coolige an frank rosavelt. cartar was to scared to come outa teh gate. silant cal needs your suport!

an foot eter has a htign abuot south efricans. turns out theres all kindns.

i bolgroled em bloth. teh miserbal brutes.

p.s. zerlesson spoted a goodie.

p.p.s. an this animatoin is starnge an good.

February 19, 2006


okay som chowdarhead coined teh word 'blargon' to mean 'blog jargon' (mosly mening 'rnadom wrods wiht 'blog' insertad somwhwewerre in em'. usuly somwhare u cant discus in micxed compny if u cach my drift).

wel heres my take on it. mosta tehes conages are hidious crap like 'blawgs' for law bolgs an 'blegging' for askign ur a-hole users for stuff. but 'blargon' is teh worst of em all. so if i catch u sayign 'blargon' or any a taht crap i will have to find u an kill yuo. no ofence but u gota take a firm line.

artacle he're (h/t volokh).


redar jaketeh egp shrwedly obasrves —

...to other people, when I say blog*****, they hear smurf*****, and take a step back from me.

cool ggame

red squaer! i gota 12.328. was gona dsave it for mayday but wath teh heck.


16.156! 19.046!

loked at teh code an it apears to be entirly detetrminstic. there even all on the same timer. e.g. each blue box is gona be at teh same spot at the same elapsed time evary time u play.

meaning you could memarize a path thruogh it. which is a bumer. if itda been me ida started the boxes on random (ok ok psueodrandom) bearings initially theen let physics take ovar.

February 16, 2006

parking lesson leurned

we hada bilzard a few days back. when taht hapens evarybodddy shovals out a parking spot an marks it wiht a chair. wel i shoveld an shovalled an when i was done i had no chiar. so i turned for insporation to the natural realm! just whipped it out an startad markigng my teratory. but than a cop druv by.

'indecent exposare' my ass is al i got to say. solve a problem creativly an they slap u with a fine. facists.

i undarstan now that it was a revalutionery act.

February 14, 2006


one a my redars was askin me if i read pg wodhose teh othar day an i was like 'no but i read nc-17 woodhouse har har!' liek slyly covaring up not havin a clue. so its wiht great ralief i found worstalls bit about teh wodehouse qooate servar:

She made a sound like a pekingese being hit on the back of the neck with a sack of wet mastodons by a curate, when it had expected a golf ball.

He had the look of a Pekingese discovering a mastodon on a golf course, instead of an Aunt.

As is so often the case with Aunts, the Pekingese had consumed a mastodon, only to bring forth a butler.

The mastondon's Aunt bellowed at the butler, like a curate finding a golf ball in a Pekingese.

so i havant been misign much.

February 13, 2006

todys nonegotiabble damand

whadda we want? time traval!

when do we wnat it? then!

February 10, 2006

Woman Carrying Human Head Arrested

whata scandel!

Myrlene Severe ... was charged Friday with smuggling a human head into the U.S. without proper documentation.


[she] also was charged with failing to declare the head...

ok now im sory but waths with that? even levign aside the freetrade isues this is opan contemt for poeple who cary heads aruond is waht it is. an worse yet its a blow agianst indivulaty an selfreliance. she has concarns about evil sperits which for al we know may be prefecly legitemate. does she ask for a handuot? no. she takes dacisiv indpendant action! tahts what made amareca great in case u didn notice. an they thrower in teh pokey for it!

do we need some godamn burocrat in washingngten teling us how to deal with eval spirats? no we do not. let a thuosand sevard heads bloom! the market wil cheply an eficiantly find the best solution.

in a spirit out of a snence of solidarity i shuld start a onnline severd head campaign. show teh damn civel 'servents' whose boss aruond he're.


howda they know she wasn just plaignign to grow some basil eh? whatre they throwin u in jail for that now?


dr e siantast opines

It's all very well to arrest the poor lady, but let's face it, we don't do a very good job of supplying fresh human heads in the US.

hes rihgt. ive had teh same porblom.

February 08, 2006

hype machine

audeo bolg agragater! new neko has leked! nnniftyyy.

February 07, 2006

wel done teh word stork!

asskickin ne43ws form langnuarge log:

...the English language will be welcoming its millionth word some time this summer. Break out the party hats!

hot digity! betcha its gona be one a mine!


vowals for walwes.


reder seanh writes

It'll never work just giving them vowels. You'll only encourage sloth and dependency. The Welsh should be encouraged to take advantage of their amazing comparative advantage in the production of consonants. They'd be much better off trading with prolific vowel suppliers like the Hawaiians. It's economics 101.

February 06, 2006


i was gonia wriate a storry abuot thease alians who avolved form asparagsas. there caled asparagoids! woooo! but it didn rely gel. anyhow. ovar to you brian!

in todays gient kiler robot news...

gient kiler robat hungars
for humen brains!
uk froran sercratry jack straw

taht robots modifyd form a ilastration by teh legandry sience fiction ilustrater frank kelly freas. which mosta his work was relly godawful actualy. but anyhow.

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