i thikn u can buy a clown. you mihgt haiv to feed them somtims. i dont no waht their good for. jeff sayes you can make soup ott of em. but there not veal. theyr a clown.

if u wnat to get rid off one bafor it daprecaites 2 much i thnik u can do taht on ebay.

funy-lookin thigns. handy if u wana float arond getin ur ass shot off by way of preservin teh right of habeas corpus an so on. its not actuly a joke. hope u guys get taht one workd out.

anzio

teh french wrod 'lardon' refers to a piece a fat but it sounds like somehtin offcolor in egnlish!

a altarnate spelin is 'lardoon' but that ony sounds like 'cardoon' whihc is ralated to hte thisle an mabe the artachoke. which isnt ofcolor at all. so teh hell whit it.

i thot our reder hugboney wuld enjoy tihs one. if not ill hafta do away with im.

jacques brel wasnt french — he was belgan!

so taht totly gets teh french off the hook as far as brell goes. but theyve still got a lot 2 anser for on the morris chevalyier front.

giant flyin soscers are totly cool.

'on and on coeurl prowled...'

optdate!

that famos guy is barkin up teh same tree.

austria appers to be recrutin swamp crieatures. this is a ominous developmant.

udpate!

its teh other austuria. the one in china er hwatever. not teh one in france.

an our parceptive reder jef sugests theyre made of algae. which i thnik hes got a point. he sems also to be sugestin that they use those feelers to datect there prey. er at anyrate taht their nonvisual.

whan the u.s. 45th infandtry division invaided sicily in july 1943 they brot 83 tons of maps with em. thats abot 75 metric tons. thats a lota maps.

source: ernie pyle, brave men, page 68

peple have raeched this bolg avter serching for teh folowin terms:

enyway
casowarys (yahoo)
fish smels like cat (this 1 no longar finds me)
sproon
plol

i am proudd of this edafice what i have builted here. danmed proud.

forther crees de cur from hte trackles wasts of the inernet:

iornic
ocerinas
]plol
www.big.scery.bats. (yahoo)
portagul
alaxender
funy lep
marsoupials
magnatic & mind
procead
oenologicly
FUNY pichers
killler beans
Transplotting
sardeans
wtf its omg
kipeling
spalash

thares a gag in there somewhere. al i have 2 do is fnid it. any idears?

it snowed yestidy.

i was rely into these wavelike drifts. theres cars underneath of em.

botson comon from becon street. u cant see it form this angle but napolions retreatin down tremont street.

sunset in cabmridge.

i wnated a botl of dog remover but noboddy had it.

who payed for hte sidewalk? the city!

whare do they get tehyr money? taxes!

who payes taxes? me!

ok.

so ill drive on teh damn sidewalk if i damn well plese thank u vary much. why cant hte police undarstan this an get of my case?

u.s. presidant james a. garfeild devised a novel prof of teh pythagorean theorem in 1876. he was subsequently asasinated by a disgrontld diplomat. but not becase of the theorem.

it says here us denazens of botson may posibly be in mortal danger. more then usual i mean. but mabe not.

my question is who exacly gives a rats ass? if we wernt weary of life anyhow wed of alredy moved someplace that dosnt suck.

incase u we're woried...

"...björk denies reports that she was so upset during filming that she ate her dress..."

— teh tiams online

wel im glad we got that stratened out! but were stil waitin for a similar denial form prance bandar.

waitin... an wiatin...

teh only reson glan renelds cares about nanotehc (thats one 'nano' not 2! 'nano nano' is difernt!) is cause hes planin to make a submicrosopic violan an then use it to mock teh poor with. what a calus creul right-wing bastard!

teh irrish endearment 'acushla' ('my pulse') can refar to lentels as wel as canelinis! teh italean 'polenta' is darivd formm tihs usage by way of the latin 'pulmentum' (literaly 'pull teh other one').

the 'pulse' part expalins the whole 'good for ur hert' conection.

so a frenid cald last nihgt an she says 'whatr u doin?'

soi i said 'im mullin cidar!' cause i was.

an she sais 'wel leme know whan u make ur mind up!'

Winter is icummen in,
Lhude sing Goddamm,
Raineth drop and staineth slop,
And how the wind doth ramm!
      Sing: Goddamm.

Skiddeth bus and sloppeth us,
An ague hath my ham.
Freezeth river, turneth liver,
      Damn you, sing: Goddamm.

Goddamm, Goddamm, 'tis why I am, Goddamm,
      So 'gainst the winter's balm.

Sing goddamm, damm, sing Goddamm,
Sing goddamm, sing goddamm, DAMM.


      — Ezra Pound

duh. but taht page mistarsnlates 'ferteth'. er at lest ive ben told 'fert' doesnt mean 'leap' it means somethin indelecate.

puond was prety col. axcept for teh admirin-fascism-an-workin-for-musolini part. that wasnt real bright. but at lest he had the good tast not 2 do it at a costmue party.

the town of prot lincon in austria has a tuna festaval eveyr year since 1962. its cald teh tunarama. its hanuary 22 util janury 26 this yer. the hghilight of the festevel is the wrold chpamion tuna toss.

what they dont tel u is that hte local sucide rate gos throu the roof evary time they do this.

updaet!

i men waht im sayin here is imagine some burly ugly pigheded litl tyke with his face al clenched up stanin there wiht a tuna refusin to throw it an his parants are getin mora an more frusrated. theyv been their for tow hours. the suns beatin down. dads quitly smolderin an moms bein all chery an encouragin the litl snot but rely shes losin her mind an getin redy to brain im. teh stupid kid wont bugdge.

teh festaval of the damned.

whoa. cool.

ok mabe im hrard up for materiel todey.

n.b.! this is a serous poal. it is also not rigd like teh last one. er. its not riged any ohter way ether.

opdate!

com on guys france is ovbuisly a joak answer! an not evan a good on. i cant beliv ppl arnt takign tihs seriosly. im shoked.

no human bein has been killd by a cassowary since 1926, but that dosnt mean teh casowarys arnt stil tryin! they atacked 150 ppl from 1989 to 1999. an we can only asume there tactics wil grow moar sophisticated as they continue to study oar behavior. so dont turn ur back on em!

update!

greeints to viositers form chaste ma laddies! i been harrylanched! wa hoo!

its nto that nick caves records suck. cause they dont. an its not that hes scarry lookin. even though he is. no its the fact that if u listen to allot of nikc cave for to long ur gona end up kilin somebody with a ax. i guarantee this. try it an see.

our loyal riader jef remids us of that grand ol sogn abot the moa!

i lossed my moa
own tha slops of mauna loa
naver noo wut it was foa
enny waaaaay....

an im glad he did cause it rely tugs at the hartstrigns. u can imaagin the por moa standin their suroundad by brimstoan an lava an wahtnot an just kinda lokin aroun. cause moas arnt rel bright. i mean there ten feet tal but they got tiny litl branes like shrepmp. so shes standin their wiht her shaterd dreams wanderin 'duhhh whats goin on? whered jef go? wherd e go?' an menwhile jefs like sneakin off calamberin down the mountin muterin 'jesus what was i thinkin? waht teh hel do i wnat with a moa?'

that alaexnder movei would of ben beter if theyd of got jon clease to play philper the mastodon. cause than u culd say 'go philpar ur mastadon somwhere else u perv!'

but they dint. so the hell with it.

i got a bvd plair! but it turned out it didnt work if i didn't have a tv. so i tok it bakc too the store an they wanted to knwo what hapaned to it. wel i siad it didn work so mabe i got a litl peave'd at it an mabe whaped it once or twise. u know how u hit the tv wiht a shoe an then it works. so i tryd that. but it didnt help so i brought it back too the stoar.

an than they wouldn giev me my money bakc! in fact they got kinda snarkastic. u might even say they we're a bit darisive abot the whoal thing. which i thaught was totly uncald for. i mean yeha it was in mabe tow or three pices but it didnt work anyway so who cares.

commas. i hate em. hate em hate em hate em. dont even get me strated.

i nevar know what their suposed to mean. but holy crap at lest there less confusign than semicolons.

update! 1/16/2005

'usufruct' still in teh lead!

u can make oil out of beeans! but onely if there the oily kind.

i want over to soth station to get piza for launch. an their was this guy in line who lolked like dustan hofman the actor. too a scery degree! so i got too thinking ok if u know sombody than he knwos you to so therfore mabe if sombody loks like sombody u recognize than u wil look like sombody he recongizes. an theres only 1 way too find out! so i slaped this guy on the bakc an yelld 'hey hi howareya ol buddy howya doin!' but he just lookd at me real suspicus an mutered somthing an kinda sidled away.

so i gueass my thery isnt worth much.

er. i shuld mention that um... well ok it wasnt just you're ordinary slap on the back. it was mor of a sort of thumpiggn or pounding. i mean it stagered him prety good. but he staid on his feet like a champ!

opdate!

radar mnk comments 'You really need to test your hypothesis a few times' an i can se his piont. so if i spot that dued agin ill rely walop him good an proper an let u knwo how it turns out!

i was drivin this mornign an a cop stoped me an he was like 'do u kno how fast u we're going' an i said yeah i was goin prety damn fast. but i was doign it ironicly.

wel he jsut loked at me like i was a idiat an he gave me a tikcket anyway! what a facist.

u may remember the jiuc dabacle. well so i tryd it again but thsi time wihtout the blubary. no convolsins this time but its rely a lot like grap juise. bfd.

they aslo hav chrocheted monstar skuls ('numbre of teth varies'). which they say are useles but u nevar know.

...is that the trasnyllvania statoin?

h. l. manickin said taht al gorge bernard shaw rely did was state teh ovbious in terms of teh scnadalous. which is true. but waht ol hank mised was that theres a lot of monay in that.

if a dikons a camer than whats a radash?

fish sos is made from roten sardeans! it smels like cat breth! ok!

update!

reder jef brigsns up the subject fo golbfesh. im not real suer why but he does. so anywya it truns out that all godlfish ar crarps but not al carpas r gdolfish. an that explanes it. so wtih set thoerey u cn figur out anythign!

also 1 mor thing! goldfash an bats do nto coaxest in amity as som ppl sem 2 think.

another update!

ok i made thai fryd rice last nite an id be ramiss if i didnt mention that fis sace smels kinda liek underweare to. also i forgot two get a liem so i put a litl rice vanegar on it an that didnt do any harm anyway. oh an im wicked peved at my sautie pan case its botom is convex but thats another story.

so i bot this botl of pomagranet juis but it turnd out i didnt red the lable an it had blubery jius in it to. wel i dont like blobarys but i thot what teh heck its to late now so i dranik som.

wel it was wierd. it made the mussel undar my lef jaw go all creapy an horible so i was stagerin aroun goin ag agg an twistign my hed arond an falin over. like ag ag flop! an bneding my nekc all aroun the whoal time an twinchin. ag aagg ag! flop! twintch! ag!

an meanwhial teh cats sitin their lookin at me calm as can be like hes thinkign 'gee i wondar whats wrogn wiht him. mabe ill eat im whan hes ded.'

smug litl basterd.

but anywy i ended up driniking the rast off the juic an once u get used to it its not so bad.

my menter hariy hoten osbservs that a bolg is 'just some c*** linking to some other c***.'

indeed.